Author: samantha

University Work Placement Challenges

On By samanthaIn FAMILYLeave a comment

It is the beginning of November and getting dark at 4pm. I find the approach of winter a little more difficult with every year that passes. The people opposite put a spooky figure onto their garden wall for Halloween and every time I look out of the window I shudder. Hopefully he will be put back in a cupboard soon. Somebody asked me today if I am all ready for Christmas which made me feel a little panicked. The answer is resounding no – I have hardly given Christmas a single thought. Humbug.

I should have gone to the gym today but instead had a bacon sandwich for lunch and sat on the sofa watching Katharine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart in the wonderful 1951 film African Queen. I actually managed to relax instead of sitting there thinking about all the other things that I should be doing.

My daughter came home from university for one night as she had an interview for her second work placement. She had to prepare a case study, PowerPoint presentation and travel into London. As I have mentioned in an earlier post Heading Back to University , finding these work placements is a stressful process for students and extremely time consuming. They cannot just submit their CV, every position requires a bespoke application. The university is at least a two hour journey from the centre of London which is where many of the companies are based and train travel is expensive, one company did reimburse my daughter the £75 fare. Many of the students apply to multiple companies and it can be confidence destroying if they receive a few rejections. Not finding a placement is not an option on this course so they have to keep on going down the list provided by the university. My daughter attended one interview where she was questioned by a panel of four people then asked to complete some maths papers, the position went to someone else on her course. This time she was up against her friend and housemate. My daughter’s friend was interviewed and gave her presentation but my daughter was only interviewed. When she got home she had to hurriedly pack her bag and head back out as she is finally getting away for a few days. Before she left she received a call from the university placement officer saying she had been offered the position. I could see the tension leave my daughter’s body but she immediately started worrying about her friend who will have to keep on searching.

My mother-in-law has now been in hospital for a month with pneumonia. She cannot go home until her carers have been trained in using a nebuliser. My husband said she appears astonishly calm and we suspect that she is being given some sort of sedative. It’s difficult to believe one of the busiest hospitals in London can spare a bed for this long but the real worrying will start when she goes home and begins the cycle of not letting her carers in or shouting at them so much that they refuse to return. She will be ninety years old tomorrow and her other sons have travelled from their homes abroad to spend some time with her.

So some little wins this week, my daughter has her placement and I managed to enjoy a lazy couple of hours. Hopefully my daughter won’t spend her week in the sun cathing up with her university work and will come back feeling refreshed.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

The spooky, and quite frankly sinister, view from my windows.

The Dementia Diaries – Chapter Twelve Alzheimer’s Disease

On By samanthaIn THE DEMENTIA DIARIESLeave a comment

I am in rather a low mood so please forgive me if this post is a little miserable. It’s been a tough week with one thing and another. My mother in law is in hospital in London again, this time with Pneumonia A doctor rang my husband and said that he thought my mother-in-law must be hallucinating because of the abusive things she was saying to staff in A & E. My husband had to explain that this is just her every day behaviour. She has now been abusive to every nurse on the ward and, when a woman visiting another patient offered her a chocolate biscuit she went ballistic. My husband has been to see her almost every day but my mother-in-laws tells anyone who will listen that he doesn’t even ring to see how she is. He speaks to her multiple times every single day of the year. My husband’s brothers both live overseas but also speak to her daily and are coming over to see her as it is her ninetieth birthday in a week or so and they had a celebratory dinner planned. I haven’t been visiting her. My mother-in-law, as you may have gathered, is a complex and difficult person and I don’t fancy being in the firing line.

Today I got up early and did some housework, washing and ironing. At 11am I loaded my car with my vacuum cleaner, mop and bucket and drove for two minutes which is all the time it takes to get to Mum and Dad’s, I prefer to walk but obviously I can’t carry so many cumbersome items. Dad timed the Tesco delivery arrival with my visit so I vacuumed their house, mopped the kitchen floor, put the laundry mountain away and then dealt with the grocery delivery. I was standing in the hallway with an enormously heavy crate and mum just would not move out of my way “go around me” she said. I couldn’t without banging into her. Now my shoulder is killing me.

On Tuesday I took my parents to the memory clinic at the local hospital. Getting Mum into the car was an ordeal but we managed it. I decided that I was going to accompany my parents into the actual appointment rather than waiting in the reception area for them as I usually do. The consultation was with a psychiatrist. Dad had changed the batteries in Mum’s hearing aids that morning but she still could not hear a thing or follow the conversation at all. She was sitting right next to the doctor and just smiling vacantly at everything he said. It felt really sad and undignified. The doctor asked if mum is still driving. Thank goodness she has never driven so we haven’t had the same battle that some of my friend’s have had of persuading their parents that they are no longer safe on the roads. Then he spoke about her having a will and Power of Attorney. He told us that Mum’s recent brain scan showed that her Hippocampus, the part of the brain associated with memory, has shrunk considerably and gave her a diagnoses of Alzheimer’s Disease which was not entirely unexpected but still difficult to hear. He asked Dad if they are managing and Dad replied yes. I interjected at this point because, despite Dad’s heroic efforts, this isn’t quite true. Mum is not washing anymore and can’t get in the bath or shower. I don’t mind washing Mum’s hair but I am not comfortable with giving her a more intimate wash and they are still refusing to have a carer in to help. Throughout this dementia “journey” I have found that my parents prefer everything to be a secret and this attitude is proving a huge barrier to them receiving appropriate assistance. The psychiatrist said they should contact social services. I asked if he could organise a referral himself and he agreed. Dad has rung the district nurse multiple times about some hygiene-related issues that Mum is having but we can’t even get a phone call back.

So, two frail, elderly ladies, one in hospital and one being cared for at home. Meanwhile my aunt, almost ninety, is zipping around here, there and everywhere in her car, looking very “with it” as she says right down to her Zara outfits and sparkly nail polish. Dad is still as sharp as a tack but has had to give up his own interests to look after Mum. Life is not always easy but like, thousands of other families, we are muddling along.

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Cover Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

This Week I Have Been…. Gripping Reads, Chilling Viewing & a Spooky Podcast

On By samanthaIn GOING OUTLeave a comment

Reading – The Woman Who Lied by Claire Douglas

I recently reviewed The Wrong Sister by Claire Douglas which was a real page-turner. The Woman Who Lied is even more gripping, I thought. There are so many inexpensive thrillers available for Kindle, usually described as “completely gripping” and “unputdownable” but so many of them aren’t very well written or have big plot holes. Like most readers, if find a book I enjoy then I am likely to read more of that author’s work.

Emilia is a successful author of nine crime novels featuring a fictional detective called Miranda Moody. The ninth book is just about to be published and Emilia has a surprising storyline planned for the tenth and final novel in the series. The fruits of her labour have bought her a huge home in Richmond which she shares with her second husband, Elliot and her children Jasmine and Wilfy. Emilia’s first husband left her for her former friend Kristen. Ottilie, Emilia’s long standing friend from boarding school lives nearby and often visits so that they can bitch about Kristen. Emilia has recently made a new friend, another mother at at Wilfy’s school, Louise, herself a detective with The Metropolitan Police, a useful contact to have when you’re a crime novelist.

One day, a harassed Emilia is on her way to a meeting with her agent when her bus is evacuated. Something begins to niggle, didn’t the exact same thing happen in one of her early Miranda Moody books? Surely just a coincidence. Then things begin to get really sinister, skylights open by themselves in the house, funeral wreaths are left for Emilia and that’s just the tame stuff. If you have a virtual assistant in your home, especially an Alexa, you may wish to scrap it after reading this book. Unfortunately, in order to find out who is terrorising her, Emilia is going to have to divulge a pretty big secret of her own. Lots of red herrings keep the reader guessing to almost the last page.

Watching –.Baby Ruby on Netfilx

Baby Ruby is listed under the horror section on Netflix and there are many typical horror elements but it is really a film about post natal psychosis. If you are pregnant you may wish to give it a miss. Jo, a French woman living in the US (played by Noemie Merlant), has a successful lifestyle blog, Love, Josephine. Here she posts the usual influencer pictures of herself in pretty outfits, her home looking pristine and healthy meals she has of course rustled up from scratch. Her last post is for her baby shower which she threw for herself as she doesn’t trust anybody else to do it as perfectly as she can. Jo and her husband, Spencer, are excited about their impending arrival, their first baby, and there is no reason to think anything is amiss. Then, Jo has an odd encounter with a new mother in a baby store and things begin to unravel.

When she does make an appearance, Baby Ruby herself is the cutest little thing. She looks like she should be wearing the cap of an acorn on her head and be living in a forest as a pixie However, she is a non-stop crier and Jo is soon exhausted. Motherhood has no respect for Jo’s perfectionism. Her colleague impatiently asks when she will be posting a picture of her new baby as the readers (and no doubt sponsors) are waiting in anticipation but Jo just has no interest, she is teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown.

Even at the end of the film it is difficult for the viewer to discern what was real and what formed part of Jo’s delusion. At first it’s not clear whether she has stumbled upon some sort of witches coven or whether it’s all in her head. Is it some sort of Rosemary’s Baby situation or is Jo unwell? I found this film really frightening and didn’t entirely understand the ending but the plot was compelling.

Listened To –Classic Ghost Stories by Tony Walker on Apple Itunes

As it is the month of Halloween it seems fitting to recommend a spooky stories podcast and this one really is top notch. The title of the podcast, Classic Ghost Stories is slightly misleading because the story I listened to today, The Premonition by Lewis Darley, was set in around 2016 and takes place in modern day Bristol so not yet a classic. I particularly enjoyed the fact that Walker interviewed Lewis Darley after the reading and we found out a little about his inspiration and other creative works. Of course most of the authors featured are long since deceased but the stories have stood the test of time. I have enjoyed every one so far, particularly Three Miles Up by Elizabeth Jane Howard and The Work of Evil by William Croft Dickinson. Walker narrates beautifully making this podcast a delight to listen to and I am happy to see there are five seasons so I have a lot of supernatural scariness to catch up on.

.Thanks for reading

Samantha

Cover Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

A Beginner’s Tale: Core Fitness Struggles

On By samanthaIn HEALTHLeave a comment

I joined the gym a few months ago and my membership gives me access to any number of scary-sounding exercise classes. Most of those I would be interested in attending fall on my working days so I am left with “Core Fitness”. I am looking to improve my core strength and stability so this sounded perfect.

The first week I went along, the class was packed and I couldn’t believe how difficult I found it. I was by far the least coordinated in the group although I later found out some of the other women (they are all women) have been attending this class for years. There were lots of yoga poses involved and everybody else seemed to know exactly what these were. For the following five days the muscles in my abdomen were killing me. I have started watching some YouTube videos where I can learn how to do the exercises correctly without injuring myself and in the privacy of my own bedroom. After my fourth class, I began to feel a little more confident. Then, the Swiss Balls appeared and all was lost. Michelle, the instructor, tells us we are going to be using the balls and the entire class erupts in a sort of synchronised groan. I had no clue what was going on. Then Michelle distributed the inflatable balls. I am given the largest one. She tells me I am tall and therefore need the super sized ball. I am five foot eight inches tall, not six foot five. I lie on top of it and don’t feel safe at all, wobbling all over the place and my feet don’t reach the floor. I have never done this type of exercise at all and this wasn’t a very successful first attempt. In the end I did the exercises on the mat, putting the inflatable to one side. I left feeling really quite humiliated.

The following week I forced myself to go back, hoping the wretched balls wouldn’t feature again. Unfortunately they did and we were told to go to the equipment cupboard and select one appropriate for our height. One of the other women, who I had never even spoken to before, passed me a smaller ball and told me she had felt really sorry for me the previous week. Then another women piped up that she had too and that she was really impressed that I kept going. I thought it was so kind of them to take the time to say something encouraging. We all got in our rows and the woman to my left was told that she needed the moon-sized ball but she actually refused to take it. It was still a wobbly workout but I managed the exercises much better on the smaller ball and this time left feeling pleased that I’d made the effort.

I have missed a month of my classes due to working additional days and my never-ending cough but I returned yesterday and, sure enough, the Swiss Balls, were rolled out. I think I will have to find another class if this continues. I managed the exercises reasonably well but the balls are filthy as is the gym floor, covered in other people’s hair. There isn’t really enough space for all of us either. After my class ended one of the women asked me if I would like to join her walking group one day. There are some really nice people around.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Cover Image by Nhi Nguyễn Tường from Pixabay

The Dementia Diaries – Chapter Eleven – A Long List of Lasts

On By samanthaIn THE DEMENTIA DIARIESLeave a comment

When my mum was younger she was such a busy person, she had a variety of different jobs, secretary, school dinner lady (why are they never called lunch ladies?), barmaid and she would sometimes do a little bit of cleaning for neighbours or feed their pets when they were away. There wasn’t a single day of my childhood that we didn’t have a hot meal, maybe not always from scratch, Mr Brains Faggots and Findus crispy pancakes would feature occasionally but most of the time she’d cook something time consuming after being at work all day. We didn’t have a car so she would have to carry the food shopping back, her palms often red from where the plastic bags had been digging in. She would take evening classes in bizarre things like making pictures out of copper and rush off to meet friends, especially my lovely Godmother, Jo, who died a few years ago just after her one hundredth birthday. Also my friend’s mum, R, who herself sadly now has memory problems and stoically dealt with breast cancer in her late eighties, making less fuss than I would over a stubbed toe. My Mum spoke to R on the phone most Sundays until a couple of years ago but now their forty plus year friendship seems to have been erased from both their memories.

Jo, or Josephine, was about twelve years older than my mum and had never married. Her fiancé had been killed during the war. They met when they both worked for a Greek shipping company. Jo lived on the top two floors of a beautiful terraced town house in Pimlico, her brother and his wife lived on the lower floors. Mum, myself and my twin brother would take The Tube into London to visit Jo, sometimes staying for a few days in the summer. I think my Dad must have been on one of his Open University summer course at this point. In the summer we would go to St James’ Park and Kensington Gardens. In the winter we would go and see the Christmas lights and the Selfridges windows. We’d catch the number 24 bus from Victoria. Jo and her sisters, Baba and Pat, would visit us at our little semi in Hornchurch and my mum would get flustered, cleaning madly before they arrived. She would always cook a huge roast. Jo would always wear one of her many navy blue dresses, usually from Peter Jones. Happy days. Jo died in a nursing home during the pandemic, I couldn’t even attend her funeral. She didn’t know who I was when I last visited her but she looked at a picture of Mum and said “that’s my friend”. It was very moving.

This post has rather gone off tangent but what I wanted to write about was how sad it is when the last time for doing something you loved has been and gone and perhaps you haven’t even realised. Mum will never go into London again, will never see her friend Jo again, never see R again, never cook a roast again (although she helps Dad prepare their meal every evening by peeling the vegetables) . She’ll never again come striding into view, weighed down by grocery shopping. But she is still here. Maybe she can only walk a few steps and perhaps she doesn’t really know what is going on but she and Dad still love each other and still follow their little routines. She still sounds happy to hear my voice when I ring. Less happy to see me in person because she doesn’t like me doing their housework. Life has become very small for Mum and therefore for Dad also, but it is still worth living. Find time to do what you love while you can.

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Cover Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

Photo of Pimlico by Lisa van Vliet on Unsplash

This Week I Have Been….

On By samanthaIn GOING OUT1 Comment

Reading – The Wrong Sister by Claire Douglas

Ok, so I am fibbing a little because I actually read this book during my trip to Florence and have been meaning to review it ever since. They had a beautiful selection of Penguin Classics at the airport but their font is minuscule so I went for a psychological thriller instead. In fact I bought two but the other one wasn’t worth reviewing.

The sisters in Claire Douglas’s story are Tasha, the rather worn down mother of four year old twins and Alice, a sort of Elizabeth Holmes character who is developing some sort of medical tech with her partner, Kyle. Alice and Kyle live in a glamorous apartment in Venice and offer Tasha and her husband, Aaron a temporary house-swap and insist on looking after the twins. Wonderful thinks Tasha, she and Aaron can have a much needed romantic break and leave the drudgery of every day life behind for a few days..

Like a scene in one of my favourite films, Dont Look Now, Tasha encounters a knife wielding maniac on the streets of Venice but manages to flee. Back at Tasha’s home in a sleepy village Kyle is murdered and Alice is in hospital. What is going on? A note sent to Tasha may throw some light on the terrifying situation. The Wrong Sister is well written with believable characters, interesting family dynamics and a satisfyingly twisty plot. Perfect holiday reading.

Watching – A Perfect Couple on Netflix

Must Nicole Kidman appear in everything? Other actresses are available. Or should that be actors? Set in a stunning home in Nantucket, A Perfect Couple is set around the forthcoming wedding of Benji and Amelia. It is the night of the rehearsal dinner and guests are arriving from far and wide. One of them ends up dead.

Kidman plays Greer, a writer and matriarch, always elegantly dressed in shade of cream and blue by Ralph Lauren and Sezane (I checked out the wardrobe designers YouTube video). Kidman has had so much Botox that she looks less wrinkled than the young women playing her daughter-in-laws, Dakota Fanning and Eve Hewson. Kidman is naturally beautiful but her smooth, waxen face is somewhat distracting as are the odd wig choices. Greer is married to Tag excellently played by Liev Shrieber . Tag is real “old money” and I loved his laid back attitude. The dance sequence at the credits is the best thing about this series. I found the plot lacklustre and couldn’t understand why none of the characters were discussing their theories for who the murderer was . The killer was a bit of a surprise though. If you like beautiful locations and non-demanding viewing then this may be for you.

Listened To – The Price of Paradise on Apple Itunes

The Price of Paradise is such a good story, I could not stop listening. The nice thing about podcasts is they are guilt free entertainment, you can listen and get on with other things at the same time. Narrated by Alice Levine, this is based on a TV documentary (which I haven’t seen but it makes no difference to following this jaw dropping story). Jane Gaskin, a rather exotic free spirit is so bored with her life in the UK that she sells up and buys her very own tiny island in Nicaragua which she renames Janique. Her partner Phil and her young children accompany her. Phil and Jane plan to open a diving centre even though neither of them can swim. The locals have other ideas, and they receive some unwelcome visitors. The story also follows lawyer Maria Acosta who is aggrieved that the islands are being sold off to foreigners by a rather shady businessman. If Jane was looking for adventure she certainly got her wish. The producers of the documentary tell their side of the story but, sadly, Jane didn’t want to participate in the making of the podcast. Nevertheless, it makes for gripping listening.

Thanks for reading

Samantha

Cover Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Liz Earle -A Better Second Half

On By samanthaIn HEALTHLeave a comment

This week I have been ill with a really bad cold. I am self employed so have soldiered on but been unable to answer the phone due to having absolutely no voice. Two of my family members suffer from severe asthma so I try to keep to keep my germs to myself although, inevitably, they pick up illnesses when out and about. My daughter has gone back to university so I have been sleeping in her room so as not to breath the lurgy over my husband.

Ironically, I suspect I picked up the cold at a wellness event, part of the Sevenoaks Literary Festival, hosted by our local independent bookshop and held at Walthamstow Hall school. The speaker, entrepreneur and health journalist, Liz Earle, was promoting her latest book, A Better Second Half which, as the title suggests, is about maximising health and wellbeing during the second half of our lives. The event was packed with women, one of whom seemed to be transcribing the entire interview rather than purchasing a £22 copy of Earle’s book like the rest of us.

Liz Earle walked out on the stage looking lovely in turquoise wide leg trousers and a cream silk top, she had gold Mary-Jane shoes on her feet, very glam and the sort of effortless put together look that is so hard to achieve. She also looked a little tired, not surprising as she had had a nightmare with the trains and also a late night. Earle was keen for us to know that she is sixty one and her boyfriend is forty four, they met on the dating app Ivory Towers. I have noticed that dating younger men seems to be used as a measure of an older women’s attractiveness. Earle also said, tongue firmly in cheek, that she had her biological age analysed and it is thirty nine therefore she is actually younger than him which got a chortle from the audience. Although Earle has now embraced her age, she was so dreading turning sixty that she initially cancelled her birthday party. Many of us have felt that way when a big birthday is looming.

Many people will associate Earle with the beauty brand bearing her name and it was fascinating to hear her speak about how this came about. Liz, and her partner, Kim Buckland combined their expertise and founded the company in 1995, it went on to be the UK’s biggest selling independent skincare brand. Who hasn’t at least tried Cleanse and Polish? They sold the company in 2010 and Earle reverted what she really feels passionate about, writing about women’s health. She made it quite clear that she has no interest in starting again in the beauty business.

Earle bought a farm with some of the proceeds from the sale of her company and there is a pond on the property. She tells us that she sometimes goes and sits in the cold water, up to her shoulders. She also turns the water to cold when she is in the shower. She is a big fan of grounding which is where you stand on grass or soil in bare feet, the theory being that the electrical charge can calm inflammation, reduce stress and promote healing. As Earle herself says, it does sound rather woo woo but the concept is nothing new. Earle speaks about wanting to live to one hundred and twenty and says that biohackers are aiming for one hundred and eighty. She says that being ninety and sitting in a chair having lost your marbles is not living. This upset me, it describes my mum to a tee and it hurts. However, Earle isn’t really wrong. I have read about biohackers and their quest for near immortality. I believe one takes plasma transfusions from his son and I saw a video of him doing the most extreme exercises that made him look more humanoid than human. A person would have to be enormously rich to afford to live that long and it does not interest me at all, it just seems unnatural, but I might feel differently when I am one hundred and nineteen.

Earle spoke at length about the benefits of HRT and dispelled some of the misinformation around it. She also recommended various vitamins and peptides. The floor was opened to questions and one woman asked about mouth-taping, Earle is fan. You put a strip of medical tape over your mouth so that you are forced to breathe through your nose as you sleep. I don’t think I would be able to tolerate that. Earle also spoke about building muscle mass through using weights, something which I am intimidated to start but really should.

Liz Earle has clearly carried out endless research and I feel I can trust her advice, she is highly respected in her field. Even her own GP told her that patients often mention her research during consultations, usually about the menopause. Earle has her own podcast and has published a plethora of books. I am looking forward to reading A Better Second Half , a real doorstop of a book. Visit her website, Liz Earle Wellbeing, for more information.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

The Dementia Diaries – Chapter Ten – Where do we go from here?

On By samanthaIn THE DEMENTIA DIARIESLeave a comment

I haven’t written a Dementia Diaries post for a little while. My mum’s condition, both physical and mental, has deteriorated considerably and even thinking about it makes me feel sad. Every day there is another problem, today Mum has lost her wedding ring, her engagement ring vanished some time ago. My dad’s entire life now revolves around looking after her and he looks utterly exhausted, not ideal when he had a heart attack only last year. I do some housework for them, mostly hoovering and mopping the kitchen floor but Mum is difficult about it and keeps telling me to stop and go home. When I try to ignore her she pretends to cry and puts her hand to her forehead and says I am making her ill. Am I supposed to leave everything for Dad to do? Dad does now have a lady gardener come every now and then but Mum rudely tells her to go home as well. The gardener has offered to clean for them, I suppose her outside work dries up in the autumn, but I know Mum would be telling her to stop for the whole time. Dad has mountains of laundry to do every single day and I go over and fold it and put it away but I am met with hostility from Mum about this as well. I invariably leave their house feeling guilty about Dad and worried about the way forward. How much longer can this go on for?

Mum now has difficulty walking even short distances and seems to launch herself across their tiny sitting room grabbing onto a chair then a table then another chair until she has made it to the door. She makes little mewing sounds as she does this. She can still pull herself upstairs with the two handrails but I don’t think that will be for long, it is a fall waiting to happen. I have asked my dad to consider turning the under stairs cupboard into a downstairs loo but he doesn’t want to. I am not even sure the space would be big enough. Getting Mum into a car is now a stressful ordeal and she won’t listen to direction. I try to tell her to put her bottom on the seat and bring her legs in but she climbs into the car in a standing position, puts one foot on top of another, and then can’t turn around. If I try to help she shrugs me off. Mum was badly hurt after falling while getting into my car two years ago, her leg took about nine months to heal, I am terrified of this happening again.

Another major setback is that Mum is now unable to get in and out of the bath. Dad now washes her with a flannel as they only have a shower head over the bath. They should have a carer coming in to help with this but the answer to that is a resounding no as well. My mother-in-law, who is in a much better state than my mum but lives alone, has carers in four times a day. They wash her, do her laundry and shopping and prepare simple meals for her. It has made a tremendous difference to her overall health. I am not sure if Dad does not want to spend the money on carers or whether he just dreads Mum being rude to them. Both my parents worked hard for many years and it is ridiculous that they are denying themselves assistance when they most need it.

Dad has a sky-high IQ, he must know that they need help but he doesn’t want to upset Mum. She must be kept happy at all costs, even to his health. As a consequence, he has become something of a servant. If he sits down for a second she asks him to open/close a window or door, if he leaves the room she keeps calling him until he gives up whatever he was trying to achieve. Apparently it is very common for dementia sufferers to become anxious if their main carer is not in sight. I came back from their house this morning feeling hopeless. Mum told Dad off for allowing me to put the carpet sweeper over. She asked the same question at least ten times in half an hour. I don’t know the way forward. Maybe one day the decision will be taken out of our hands. I think Dad is determined to manage, without outside help, for as long as possible.

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Cover Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

Naomi In Fashion Exhibition at the V & A

On By samanthaIn GOING OUTLeave a comment

Naomi Campbell is possibly the most iconic and super of the super models. I saw her speaking on Sky News about a new exhibition dedicated to her career showing at The Victoria and Albert Museum, until 6th April 2025. I immediately booked tickets for myself and a friend to go. I could not get tickets for the recent Gabrielle Chanel exhibition and did not want to miss out again. I am not a member of the V & A so the cost was £18 each which includes a small donation to the museum. The easiest way to get to the V & A is by tube, if you get off at South Kensington station there is a tunnel that leads you directly to the door.

London born Campbell was discovered while out shopping in Covent Garden as a teenager. She appeared on the cover of the UK edition of Elle magazine just before she turned sixteen. Her equally gorgeous mother, Valerie, accompanied her to shoots much of the time. Campbell was the was the first black model to appear on the cover of many publications including Time magazine. In doing so she paved the way for those black models that followed her. She has been an outspoken advocate for inclusivity and diversity in the fashion world.

Campbell is know for her beauty but also for her bad temper. Years ago, I saw her appear as a guest on the talk show of American model Tyra Banks where Banks accused Campbell of trying to sabotage her career when she was starting out. In 2007 she famously was sentenced to community service and anger management classes in New York for throwing her mobile phone at the head of her housekeeper. The spectacular Dolce & Gabbana dress that she wore for the last day of community service forms part of the exhibition. Not everyone’s choice of outfit for picking up litter but Campbell knew the paparazzi would be out and the result was some iconic photographs.

The V & A is a wonderful place to visit at any time and there is nowhere like London on a sunny day. We arrived a little early and sat on the terrace with coffee and a oat muffin. There is a pond where children were playing in their swimming costumes. Local parents seem to use this space like a park and why not? You don’t have to pay to access this area. It made me want to move to this part of London, if only I could afford it.

The exhibition itself is packed with beautiful things to see. Campbell looks like a goddess in every singe photograph. She is absolutely flawless and seems to radiate a powerful presence. The exhibition incudes photographs of her with Nelson Mandela taken from her personal collection. There are exquisite gowns and accessories galore. You can see the Vivienne Westwood Anglomania shoes that caused Campbell to topple over on the runway and a chic lavender Chanel suit she wore in 1994. There are many pieces by Azzedine Alaïa with whom Campbell was particularly close. Iconic pieces by Yves San Laurent, Versace, John Galliano, Valentino and Alexander McQueen also feature. There is no one in the fashion world that she has not worked with. There is also a 360 screen displaying some of her most famous shots and another screen of her dancing. A short film of Campbell giving instructions on perfecting her signature runway walk was keeping a small boy entertained when we went. If you have any interest in fashion then this exhibition is a must see.

We exited the V & A to see hundreds of “Swifties” queuing up for the Taylor Swift Songbird Trail. The sun was still out and we walked to Knightsbridge for a mooch around Harrods. So many beautiful things to admire including a whole wall of brightly coloured Dior Lady handbags. Just window shopping for us. We then headed to Harvey Nichols where we had lunch in their cafe. I had a cheese salad sandwich and a pineapple juice which cost an eyewatering £27.

What an honour for a living person to have an entire exhibition at the V & A dedicated to their life and career. Now fifty four, Campbell has recently become the mother to two children and, understandably, her modelling career is not as full-on as it once was, she has nothing left to prove. She is still otherworldly beautiful though and her place in fashion history is guaranteed.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Samsonite Flux Suitcase & Longchamp Le Pilage Tote Bag: A Review

On By samanthaIn SHOPPINGLeave a comment

For my recent trip to Florence I decided I needed some new luggage, our larger suitcases were looking a little bit tatty. Whenever somebody in my family is going on a short trip they always take the communal Samsonite small suitcase. As it seems to have held up well I decided to by another Samsonite in a larger size. Amazon were selling a model called Flux and I ordered the medium for around £135. I ordered navy but it is available in black and red as well. I was tempted by the red as it would probably be easier to pick out at the luggage collection point. The case arrived and, initially I was very impressed, it is a good looking piece of luggage. The polypropylene hard shell has a matte finish with a silver strip running along the middle . The case has a two-zip system to make it expandable and it’s own TSA locking system. I thought that perhaps I should have ordered the larger size but the case is a real Tardis and the medium is probably big enough for a fortnight’s holiday for most individuals.

After one short flight I collected the case from the conveyor belt in Italy and was disappointed to see a huge scratch down one side, dents to the shell and the rubber seal was damaged. The baggage handlers probably take little care with people’s belongings but, even so, I thought my new case would wear a little better than that. I really should have returned it but I missed the window and returning big items can be so difficult as I found out when I tried to return a storage heater. The case has gone into the loft and I have made a mental note not to purchase this particular model again. The quality simply isn’t as good as one would expect from a brand like Samsonite. If I had wanted a lesser quality case I could have picked up one for a third of the price. Nevertheless I hope it will withstand more trips even if it already looks a little battered.

The other item I bought was a Longchamp La Pilage tote bag in burgundy. I originally ordered the medium but, when it arrived it was obvious that it was going to be too small to travel with so I exchanged it for a large which cost £120 from John Lewis. The medium size would be great for every day and I am tempted to buy it in navy. A backpack, make up bag and coin pouch are also available in this range in a multitude of colourways. There is also a leather version.

I am delighted with this bag. It is beautifully made with leather trim, it is lightweight and has a zip closure. The only thing I will mention is that the large size is too big to use as a carry on with some airlines if it is fully stuffed. Fortunately, due to the complete absence of any staff at Gatwick airport, nobody checked and, if they had, I could have folded the sides in to make it fit one of those plastic trays. The bag is just one big open compartment with a single internal pocket so you may wish to purchase an organiser, you can find these on Etsy. One nice thing is that it folds down to a tiny size so can be tidily stored away when not in use. There are countless, less expensive, copies of this bag available but this was worth the money, the fabric is beautiful, the zips smooth, it doesn’t slip off the shoulder and the finish looks expensive.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Photos show the interior of the Longchamp Le Pilage tote filled with a paperback, make up bag, sun cream, smaller handbag, medication bag and various other bits and bobs and the damaged seal on the Samsonite Flux suitcase .