Author: samantha

This Week I Have Been….

On By samanthaIn GOING OUT1 Comment

Reading – The Wrong Sister by Claire Douglas

Ok, so I am fibbing a little because I actually read this book during my trip to Florence and have been meaning to review it ever since. They had a beautiful selection of Penguin Classics at the airport but their font is minuscule so I went for a psychological thriller instead. In fact I bought two but the other one wasn’t worth reviewing.

The sisters in Claire Douglas’s story are Tasha, the rather worn down mother of four year old twins and Alice, a sort of Elizabeth Holmes character who is developing some sort of medical tech with her partner, Kyle. Alice and Kyle live in a glamorous apartment in Venice and offer Tasha and her husband, Aaron a temporary house-swap and insist on looking after the twins. Wonderful thinks Tasha, she and Aaron can have a much needed romantic break and leave the drudgery of every day life behind for a few days..

Like a scene in one of my favourite films, Dont Look Now, Tasha encounters a knife wielding maniac on the streets of Venice but manages to flee. Back at Tasha’s home in a sleepy village Kyle is murdered and Alice is in hospital. What is going on? A note sent to Tasha may throw some light on the terrifying situation. The Wrong Sister is well written with believable characters, interesting family dynamics and a satisfyingly twisty plot. Perfect holiday reading.

Watching – A Perfect Couple on Netflix

Must Nicole Kidman appear in everything? Other actresses are available. Or should that be actors? Set in a stunning home in Nantucket, A Perfect Couple is set around the forthcoming wedding of Benji and Amelia. It is the night of the rehearsal dinner and guests are arriving from far and wide. One of them ends up dead.

Kidman plays Greer, a writer and matriarch, always elegantly dressed in shade of cream and blue by Ralph Lauren and Sezane (I checked out the wardrobe designers YouTube video). Kidman has had so much Botox that she looks less wrinkled than the young women playing her daughter-in-laws, Dakota Fanning and Eve Hewson. Kidman is naturally beautiful but her smooth, waxen face is somewhat distracting as are the odd wig choices. Greer is married to Tag excellently played by Liev Shrieber . Tag is real “old money” and I loved his laid back attitude. The dance sequence at the credits is the best thing about this series. I found the plot lacklustre and couldn’t understand why none of the characters were discussing their theories for who the murderer was . The killer was a bit of a surprise though. If you like beautiful locations and non-demanding viewing then this may be for you.

Listened To – The Price of Paradise on Apple Itunes

The Price of Paradise is such a good story, I could not stop listening. The nice thing about podcasts is they are guilt free entertainment, you can listen and get on with other things at the same time. Narrated by Alice Levine, this is based on a TV documentary (which I haven’t seen but it makes no difference to following this jaw dropping story). Jane Gaskin, a rather exotic free spirit is so bored with her life in the UK that she sells up and buys her very own tiny island in Nicaragua which she renames Janique. Her partner Phil and her young children accompany her. Phil and Jane plan to open a diving centre even though neither of them can swim. The locals have other ideas, and they receive some unwelcome visitors. The story also follows lawyer Maria Acosta who is aggrieved that the islands are being sold off to foreigners by a rather shady businessman. If Jane was looking for adventure she certainly got her wish. The producers of the documentary tell their side of the story but, sadly, Jane didn’t want to participate in the making of the podcast. Nevertheless, it makes for gripping listening.

Thanks for reading

Samantha

Cover Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Liz Earle -A Better Second Half

On By samanthaIn HEALTHLeave a comment

This week I have been ill with a really bad cold. I am self employed so have soldiered on but been unable to answer the phone due to having absolutely no voice. Two of my family members suffer from severe asthma so I try to keep to keep my germs to myself although, inevitably, they pick up illnesses when out and about. My daughter has gone back to university so I have been sleeping in her room so as not to breath the lurgy over my husband.

Ironically, I suspect I picked up the cold at a wellness event, part of the Sevenoaks Literary Festival, hosted by our local independent bookshop and held at Walthamstow Hall school. The speaker, entrepreneur and health journalist, Liz Earle, was promoting her latest book, A Better Second Half which, as the title suggests, is about maximising health and wellbeing during the second half of our lives. The event was packed with women, one of whom seemed to be transcribing the entire interview rather than purchasing a £22 copy of Earle’s book like the rest of us.

Liz Earle walked out on the stage looking lovely in turquoise wide leg trousers and a cream silk top, she had gold Mary-Jane shoes on her feet, very glam and the sort of effortless put together look that is so hard to achieve. She also looked a little tired, not surprising as she had had a nightmare with the trains and also a late night. Earle was keen for us to know that she is sixty one and her boyfriend is forty four, they met on the dating app Ivory Towers. I have noticed that dating younger men seems to be used as a measure of an older women’s attractiveness. Earle also said, tongue firmly in cheek, that she had her biological age analysed and it is thirty nine therefore she is actually younger than him which got a chortle from the audience. Although Earle has now embraced her age, she was so dreading turning sixty that she initially cancelled her birthday party. Many of us have felt that way when a big birthday is looming.

Many people will associate Earle with the beauty brand bearing her name and it was fascinating to hear her speak about how this came about. Liz, and her partner, Kim Buckland combined their expertise and founded the company in 1995, it went on to be the UK’s biggest selling independent skincare brand. Who hasn’t at least tried Cleanse and Polish? They sold the company in 2010 and Earle reverted what she really feels passionate about, writing about women’s health. She made it quite clear that she has no interest in starting again in the beauty business.

Earle bought a farm with some of the proceeds from the sale of her company and there is a pond on the property. She tells us that she sometimes goes and sits in the cold water, up to her shoulders. She also turns the water to cold when she is in the shower. She is a big fan of grounding which is where you stand on grass or soil in bare feet, the theory being that the electrical charge can calm inflammation, reduce stress and promote healing. As Earle herself says, it does sound rather woo woo but the concept is nothing new. Earle speaks about wanting to live to one hundred and twenty and says that biohackers are aiming for one hundred and eighty. She says that being ninety and sitting in a chair having lost your marbles is not living. This upset me, it describes my mum to a tee and it hurts. However, Earle isn’t really wrong. I have read about biohackers and their quest for near immortality. I believe one takes plasma transfusions from his son and I saw a video of him doing the most extreme exercises that made him look more humanoid than human. A person would have to be enormously rich to afford to live that long and it does not interest me at all, it just seems unnatural, but I might feel differently when I am one hundred and nineteen.

Earle spoke at length about the benefits of HRT and dispelled some of the misinformation around it. She also recommended various vitamins and peptides. The floor was opened to questions and one woman asked about mouth-taping, Earle is fan. You put a strip of medical tape over your mouth so that you are forced to breathe through your nose as you sleep. I don’t think I would be able to tolerate that. Earle also spoke about building muscle mass through using weights, something which I am intimidated to start but really should.

Liz Earle has clearly carried out endless research and I feel I can trust her advice, she is highly respected in her field. Even her own GP told her that patients often mention her research during consultations, usually about the menopause. Earle has her own podcast and has published a plethora of books. I am looking forward to reading A Better Second Half , a real doorstop of a book. Visit her website, Liz Earle Wellbeing, for more information.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

The Dementia Diaries – Chapter Ten – Where do we go from here?

On By samanthaIn THE DEMENTIA DIARIESLeave a comment

I haven’t written a Dementia Diaries post for a little while. My mum’s condition, both physical and mental, has deteriorated considerably and even thinking about it makes me feel sad. Every day there is another problem, today Mum has lost her wedding ring, her engagement ring vanished some time ago. My dad’s entire life now revolves around looking after her and he looks utterly exhausted, not ideal when he had a heart attack only last year. I do some housework for them, mostly hoovering and mopping the kitchen floor but Mum is difficult about it and keeps telling me to stop and go home. When I try to ignore her she pretends to cry and puts her hand to her forehead and says I am making her ill. Am I supposed to leave everything for Dad to do? Dad does now have a lady gardener come every now and then but Mum rudely tells her to go home as well. The gardener has offered to clean for them, I suppose her outside work dries up in the autumn, but I know Mum would be telling her to stop for the whole time. Dad has mountains of laundry to do every single day and I go over and fold it and put it away but I am met with hostility from Mum about this as well. I invariably leave their house feeling guilty about Dad and worried about the way forward. How much longer can this go on for?

Mum now has difficulty walking even short distances and seems to launch herself across their tiny sitting room grabbing onto a chair then a table then another chair until she has made it to the door. She makes little mewing sounds as she does this. She can still pull herself upstairs with the two handrails but I don’t think that will be for long, it is a fall waiting to happen. I have asked my dad to consider turning the under stairs cupboard into a downstairs loo but he doesn’t want to. I am not even sure the space would be big enough. Getting Mum into a car is now a stressful ordeal and she won’t listen to direction. I try to tell her to put her bottom on the seat and bring her legs in but she climbs into the car in a standing position, puts one foot on top of another, and then can’t turn around. If I try to help she shrugs me off. Mum was badly hurt after falling while getting into my car two years ago, her leg took about nine months to heal, I am terrified of this happening again.

Another major setback is that Mum is now unable to get in and out of the bath. Dad now washes her with a flannel as they only have a shower head over the bath. They should have a carer coming in to help with this but the answer to that is a resounding no as well. My mother-in-law, who is in a much better state than my mum but lives alone, has carers in four times a day. They wash her, do her laundry and shopping and prepare simple meals for her. It has made a tremendous difference to her overall health. I am not sure if Dad does not want to spend the money on carers or whether he just dreads Mum being rude to them. Both my parents worked hard for many years and it is ridiculous that they are denying themselves assistance when they most need it.

Dad has a sky-high IQ, he must know that they need help but he doesn’t want to upset Mum. She must be kept happy at all costs, even to his health. As a consequence, he has become something of a servant. If he sits down for a second she asks him to open/close a window or door, if he leaves the room she keeps calling him until he gives up whatever he was trying to achieve. Apparently it is very common for dementia sufferers to become anxious if their main carer is not in sight. I came back from their house this morning feeling hopeless. Mum told Dad off for allowing me to put the carpet sweeper over. She asked the same question at least ten times in half an hour. I don’t know the way forward. Maybe one day the decision will be taken out of our hands. I think Dad is determined to manage, without outside help, for as long as possible.

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Cover Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

Naomi In Fashion Exhibition at the V & A

On By samanthaIn GOING OUTLeave a comment

Naomi Campbell is possibly the most iconic and super of the super models. I saw her speaking on Sky News about a new exhibition dedicated to her career showing at The Victoria and Albert Museum, until 6th April 2025. I immediately booked tickets for myself and a friend to go. I could not get tickets for the recent Gabrielle Chanel exhibition and did not want to miss out again. I am not a member of the V & A so the cost was £18 each which includes a small donation to the museum. The easiest way to get to the V & A is by tube, if you get off at South Kensington station there is a tunnel that leads you directly to the door.

London born Campbell was discovered while out shopping in Covent Garden as a teenager. She appeared on the cover of the UK edition of Elle magazine just before she turned sixteen. Her equally gorgeous mother, Valerie, accompanied her to shoots much of the time. Campbell was the was the first black model to appear on the cover of many publications including Time magazine. In doing so she paved the way for those black models that followed her. She has been an outspoken advocate for inclusivity and diversity in the fashion world.

Campbell is know for her beauty but also for her bad temper. Years ago, I saw her appear as a guest on the talk show of American model Tyra Banks where Banks accused Campbell of trying to sabotage her career when she was starting out. In 2007 she famously was sentenced to community service and anger management classes in New York for throwing her mobile phone at the head of her housekeeper. The spectacular Dolce & Gabbana dress that she wore for the last day of community service forms part of the exhibition. Not everyone’s choice of outfit for picking up litter but Campbell knew the paparazzi would be out and the result was some iconic photographs.

The V & A is a wonderful place to visit at any time and there is nowhere like London on a sunny day. We arrived a little early and sat on the terrace with coffee and a oat muffin. There is a pond where children were playing in their swimming costumes. Local parents seem to use this space like a park and why not? You don’t have to pay to access this area. It made me want to move to this part of London, if only I could afford it.

The exhibition itself is packed with beautiful things to see. Campbell looks like a goddess in every singe photograph. She is absolutely flawless and seems to radiate a powerful presence. The exhibition incudes photographs of her with Nelson Mandela taken from her personal collection. There are exquisite gowns and accessories galore. You can see the Vivienne Westwood Anglomania shoes that caused Campbell to topple over on the runway and a chic lavender Chanel suit she wore in 1994. There are many pieces by Azzedine Alaïa with whom Campbell was particularly close. Iconic pieces by Yves San Laurent, Versace, John Galliano, Valentino and Alexander McQueen also feature. There is no one in the fashion world that she has not worked with. There is also a 360 screen displaying some of her most famous shots and another screen of her dancing. A short film of Campbell giving instructions on perfecting her signature runway walk was keeping a small boy entertained when we went. If you have any interest in fashion then this exhibition is a must see.

We exited the V & A to see hundreds of “Swifties” queuing up for the Taylor Swift Songbird Trail. The sun was still out and we walked to Knightsbridge for a mooch around Harrods. So many beautiful things to admire including a whole wall of brightly coloured Dior Lady handbags. Just window shopping for us. We then headed to Harvey Nichols where we had lunch in their cafe. I had a cheese salad sandwich and a pineapple juice which cost an eyewatering £27.

What an honour for a living person to have an entire exhibition at the V & A dedicated to their life and career. Now fifty four, Campbell has recently become the mother to two children and, understandably, her modelling career is not as full-on as it once was, she has nothing left to prove. She is still otherworldly beautiful though and her place in fashion history is guaranteed.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Samsonite Flux Suitcase & Longchamp Le Pilage Tote Bag: A Review

On By samanthaIn SHOPPINGLeave a comment

For my recent trip to Florence I decided I needed some new luggage, our larger suitcases were looking a little bit tatty. Whenever somebody in my family is going on a short trip they always take the communal Samsonite small suitcase. As it seems to have held up well I decided to by another Samsonite in a larger size. Amazon were selling a model called Flux and I ordered the medium for around £135. I ordered navy but it is available in black and red as well. I was tempted by the red as it would probably be easier to pick out at the luggage collection point. The case arrived and, initially I was very impressed, it is a good looking piece of luggage. The polypropylene hard shell has a matte finish with a silver strip running along the middle . The case has a two-zip system to make it expandable and it’s own TSA locking system. I thought that perhaps I should have ordered the larger size but the case is a real Tardis and the medium is probably big enough for a fortnight’s holiday for most individuals.

After one short flight I collected the case from the conveyor belt in Italy and was disappointed to see a huge scratch down one side, dents to the shell and the rubber seal was damaged. The baggage handlers probably take little care with people’s belongings but, even so, I thought my new case would wear a little better than that. I really should have returned it but I missed the window and returning big items can be so difficult as I found out when I tried to return a storage heater. The case has gone into the loft and I have made a mental note not to purchase this particular model again. The quality simply isn’t as good as one would expect from a brand like Samsonite. If I had wanted a lesser quality case I could have picked up one for a third of the price. Nevertheless I hope it will withstand more trips even if it already looks a little battered.

The other item I bought was a Longchamp La Pilage tote bag in burgundy. I originally ordered the medium but, when it arrived it was obvious that it was going to be too small to travel with so I exchanged it for a large which cost £120 from John Lewis. The medium size would be great for every day and I am tempted to buy it in navy. A backpack, make up bag and coin pouch are also available in this range in a multitude of colourways. There is also a leather version.

I am delighted with this bag. It is beautifully made with leather trim, it is lightweight and has a zip closure. The only thing I will mention is that the large size is too big to use as a carry on with some airlines if it is fully stuffed. Fortunately, due to the complete absence of any staff at Gatwick airport, nobody checked and, if they had, I could have folded the sides in to make it fit one of those plastic trays. The bag is just one big open compartment with a single internal pocket so you may wish to purchase an organiser, you can find these on Etsy. One nice thing is that it folds down to a tiny size so can be tidily stored away when not in use. There are countless, less expensive, copies of this bag available but this was worth the money, the fabric is beautiful, the zips smooth, it doesn’t slip off the shoulder and the finish looks expensive.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Photos show the interior of the Longchamp Le Pilage tote filled with a paperback, make up bag, sun cream, smaller handbag, medication bag and various other bits and bobs and the damaged seal on the Samsonite Flux suitcase .

Exploring Florence: A 30th Anniversary Celebration Trip

On By samanthaIn GOING OUT2 Comments

Here we are in Italy with a sun hat and a dictionary, from “Lonesome for a place I know” by Everything But The Girl. This is my current earworm. I used Duolingo rather than a dictionary but I did buy a rather nice sun hat from Accessorize for £4,50.

My husband and I celebrated thirty years of marriage last week. Time really does seem to speed up as you get older, when I look in the mirror I am always shocked to see my fifty something self looking back at me. Anyway, I really wanted to go to Venice but my friends warned me against it in August. It will smell, they said and be impossibly crowded. So, instead I booked four nights in Florence through Expedia. A friend gave me an official website to book tickets to various museums, gardens and churches, all very reasonably priced I thought. Three outings for two people cost less than £100. Picking up the tickets when we arrived at each location was very simple and I would definitely recommend pre-planning any sightseeing.

Before we talk about Florence can I just give the dump that is Gatwick airport a special mention. We arrived a little early and sat in a cafe where a roaring trade in stolen mobile phones was clearly going on. I do not blame the cafe workers at all for not intervening but it didn’t make for a very pleasant atmosphere. A woman in fluffy sliders and a “Juicy” tracksuit kept coming over and handing off more phones to three lurking men. We were flying with Vueling, the assistant helping people with the self-check-in was incredibly impatient and made a poor job of putting the bar code sticker onto my case, it went around the corner. There are no actual human beings to put your case onto the conveyor belt and weigh it, you do it yourself. Predictably, the machine could not read the bar code on my sticker and it was rejected. I was sent to the “ground services” desk where half the world’s population appeared to be queuing. It was impossible to see whether there were several queues or one big, smelly huddle and I began to feel a bit stressed. My husband suggested we try the automated conveyor belt one more time and, thank God, my case was accepted.

I only wanted to buy some Estee Lauder lip gloss in duty free but, according the the Sales Assistant, Estee Lauder don’t make lip gloss, so I gave up and bought two books from WH Smith, both thrillers that I chose in a hurry. One, The Wrong Sister by Claire Douglas, was a real page-turner and I will write a little review soon.

The flight was two and a half hours and then we arrived at Florence airport where, thankfully, my suitcase was waiting for me. We got a taxi to the city centre where we were staying which cost around £35. We stayed at the Hotel Calimala which is brilliantly located. The staff were very welcoming and our room was lovely, particularly the marble bathroom. The hotel has a stunning rooftop bar which is featured in a number of guide books. We went out for a walk around the city and were immediately struck by the evening heat and the beauty of the place. There is a lovely atmosphere with street musicians and performers and endless places to stop and have a drink or bite to eat. Everybody is a little dressed up which is a refreshing change.

Like many tourist destinations, Florence has a problem with aggressive street hawkers who slip a bracelet on your wrist and then tell you to pay an extortionate amount for it. I had heard Heather McDonald, a podcaster, talking about this exact scam just before we left. She had been to Rome and been scammed by people selling fake tickets at The Colosseum. Unfortunately my husband encountered one of these people when he popped out on his own and the man was extremely hostile when my husband politely declined to buy. I gave a woman who came up to us, begging, some coins and she screamed obscenities and threw them back at me. During one meal a man randomly bumped into our table and the restaurant manager came up and explained that he was a thief trying to steal my husband’s backpack. I would advise not walking around with more money or cards than you need for the day and leave your passport in a safe somewhere if you can.

On our first morning we visited Boboli Gardens. Fortunately I had booked to go in when they opened at 10am. There are a great many steps and it would have been too hot any later in the day. The views are spectacular. Afterwards we had brunch at a little café where the waitress brazenly stole ten euros from us. It was a shame because the food was delicious but we wouldn’t return after that.

There must be a million handbags for sale in Florence. The leather market was a two minute walk from our hotel and there are countless shops all selling much the same thing. Then, of course, there are the luxury stores, Chanel, Prada, a huge Gucci, Celine and branch of YSL where the staff literally stand and sneer at the passers by. I am not much of a shopper, I had a look around the market but there were too many people and I really do not need another handbag. The quality of most of the goods seem to be excellent and they were all reasonably priced. There are also numerous jewellers and inexpensive clothes shops such as H&M and Zara.

The next day we visited the Accademia Gallery where Michelangelo’s statue of David is displayed. The statue is quite breathtaking and much larger than I’d realised. The gallery is very impressive and air conditioned! There is a room with hundreds of marble busts, everywhere you look eyes seem to be watching. Of course, most of the artwork has a very religious theme and so much of it is stunningly beautiful, so much gold leaf. Despite being August, entry is managed so that there aren’t too many people in the gallery at any one time.

On our last day we visited Santa Croce The tombs of Michelangelo, Galileo and Machiavelli are inside this magnificent church. If you plan on visiting remember that it is a place of worship and dress accordingly. If you wear a vest top and shorts they won’t admit you. Knees and shoulders have to be covered. Although I usually enjoy looking around churches, it was so stuffy and hot inside that I am afraid we did not stay very long.

We were not overly impressed with the food in Florence. It was nice but nothing special, we probably just went to the wrong restaurants. We went for a pizza one evening, my husband I chose different dishes but they were both too salty to eat. I had a lasagne another evening that could have come from Marks and Spencer. We went to a cute little café one morning but the waitress told us, at 9am, that we were too late for breakfast. I had a dry croissant, or cornetto, instead. I got the impression that some of the hospitability staff aren’t overly fond of the tourists.

One thing to mention is that, if you tire easily, Florence may not be the best city for you to visit, especially during the height of summer. Unless you are eating /drinking at a bar or café there is absolutely nowhere to sit and rest. There ae no benches where you can take a breather and enjoy a gelato. The best you can hope for is to perch on a low wall or even a doorstep.

Florence is a stunningly beautiful city packed full of gorgeous architecture and history. If you enjoy shopping you will not be disappointed. I hope to visit again, maybe in June or September next time when it will be a little cooler. It would be a great location for a girls trip. Everything is within walking distance and I loved the lively, bustling atmosphere.

Grazie per aver letto

Samantha

With Love and Squalor

On By samanthaIn FAMILYLeave a comment

It is a beautiful day and I am not working.  It is 10am and I have already hung two loads of washing out on the line, popped to the supermarket to do some never-ending food shopping and dropped off an online return for my daughter.  As usual, I can’t relax.  I sit out in the garden and call my friend in the Isle of Wight for a catch up, we chat for fifteen minutes.  I then decide to sit and read my current book and chill out under the parasol.  Except that I remember how smeared the mirrors in the house are, they need a good polish, and the rug in the drawing room has soot on it, that needs a vacuum, the fridge door needs a spritz of Dettox and a wipe-down….  Why am I sitting, doing nothing, when my house is a squalid tip? OK, it’s not actually a squalid tip, just not the gleaming show home I would like it to be.   I head inside and start wearing myself out doing jobs that will only need repeating in day or two. What a waste of a sunny day.

For a few years I worked for a posh estate agent. It was my job to do the the viewings in the new build “luxury homes”, a job I thoroughly enjoyed most of the time. Everything was always gleaming and glossy but I would come home and my own house would look…tired. I live in a property built in 1760, it’s full of crooked angles and gappy floorboards. The local spiders make themselves right at home and invite their friends. At 265 years old my home is entitled to look a little knackered I suppose. I’m fifty five and some days I look quite knackered myself.

Most of my friends employ a cleaner.  I did have a succession of cleaning ladies, and one chap, when my children were younger.  Two were wonderful but several were just awful.  If I paid for four hours cleaning, I’d be lucky to get two.  I would always tidy before they came, clean the loo and offer tea or coffee every hour, in the end it was just easier, not to mention cheaper, to do it myself.  One local girl, who I nicknamed Lucy Lightfingers, stole from me. It was such a shame because I know she needed the job and I turned a blind eye when it was just dishwasher tablets and washing powder but soon money began to disappear and that’s not OK. In fact I see that she has set up an online business selling pre-loved designer handbags, possibly filched from the wardrobes of her clients.  I would quite like my vintage Fendi satchel back, bought with my hard-earned overtime money, in 1997.

When I visit certain friends, their houses are always pristine, how do people manage it when they have families?  It makes me feel inadequate. I do some sort of  housework every single day yet there is always a pile of mystery paperwork on the kitchen dresser, a ring on the glass coffee table where someone (my husband) has ignored the half dozen coasters and a thin layer of dusts forms on my glossy wooden floors no matter how often I clean them.

I try to remember that our homes are meant to be lived in and it is impossible to keep on top of everything all the time. My son had a story book , The Magic Lavatory, about a little boy, Jeffrey, who lived with an aunt who was so house-proud that he wasn’t allowed to play with anything for fear of making a mess, he just sat on the sofa all day until (spoiler alert!!) he was rescued by a magic toilet, nobody wants to live like that. Those of us with nice homes and family to share them with are incredibly lucky. If we have outside space then even more so. We all set ourselves up for failure sometimes by comparing ourselves, our homes, our finances and even our looks unfavourably with others. My seventeen year old son has actually put his M & S sandwich packaging in the bin. You have to celebrate the little wins.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Makeup Bag and Cosmetics Refresh

On By samanthaIn HEALTHLeave a comment

For my recent birthday a friend gave me a pretty new make up bag from one of my favourite shops, Oliver Bonas. It has taken pride of place on my dressing table and replaced the Clarins freebie that I have been using for years. It also provided a good opportunity for me to go through my cosmetics and throw away some of the embarrassingly ancient, and probably horribly unhygienic, items. I have used the same Nars blusher everyday for about six years and it pained me to throw it away but even the case was falling apart. My optician told me that, in an ideal world, mascara should be replaced every six weeks because of the bacteria that accumulate with each use, definitely time to bin my antique Estee Lauder. I also got rid of my Clinique eyeliners, most of which had lost their caps, and replaced them with one from Lancome in a shade called Bronze. The Lancome is very creamy, easy to blend and the shade is flattering.

I also received a Clarins bronzer as a gift in the lightest shade they sell. I have never used bronzer before. I am very pale and have always thought it would just look too orange on me. I’m also not really sure how to apply it, I had to watch a YouTube video by Ali Andreea, a stunningly beautiful make up artist, to find out. Her tutorials make everything look easy and it is tempting to buy all of the high-end products she uses. The Clarins bronzer is comprised of two shades and the darker colour is definitely too deep for me so half of the product will go to waste. The lighter shade is pretty though when sparingly applied and I like the matte finish. I did buy another Nars blusher though so I am good for six more years!

I have also been trying out This Works Perfect Cleavage & Neck Serum I am not a fan of the fragrance but the product is lovely to use and easily absorbed. My neck feels well moisturised but not sticky after use. Like the rest of the planet, I spend too much time looking at a screen and am keen to avoid the dreaded “tech neck” and hopefully this may help. I have a This Works Stress Check Mood Manager spray in my home office for days when my work email inbox is filling up faster than I can empty it, it’s actually surprisingly effective and the fragrance is beautiful. I will be trying more products from this brand.

So, some successful and much appreciated gifts. Pretty things may not be important but they do make life that little bit nicer.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

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Friends & Frenemies

On By samanthaIn FAMILYLeave a comment

My Dad’s friend of over eighty years, Daphne, died recently, she was eighty eight. She had lived next door-but-one to him in a little village near Herne Bay when they were children during the 1930/40s. She then married a chap called John, also from the same little village. They all went to the tiny village school together. I took Dad to Daphne’s funeral and it was so moving to hear about how they had played in the garden of my grandparent’s little rented cottage all of those decades ago . It isn’t easy to imagine our own parents as children.

My daughter is twenty and, ever since she started nursery school, there has always been some friendship drama or another. Even now they are adults it still goes on although my daughter is the kindest soul you could wish to meet. There are two girls in particular that I would place under the fremeny category. They are real love/hate, competitive relationships. Girls can be incredibly unkind and hurtful to each other as can grown women. You do have to wonder where some people learn to be so nasty. Neither of my sons have ever had similar issues with their friends or perhaps it’s just that they are less willing to talk about their feelings.

I am fortunate enough to have at least half a dozen good friends but life changes over the years and this can impact even the most longstanding friendships. My friend Carrie and I met at a Sunday school party. I was dressed as a 1920s flapper and she was in Welsh national dress, I don’t remember why as she is from Essex! We were eleven. We went to secondary school together and always lived in the same town until 2001 when I moved to Kent. A few years later she moved to the Isle of Wight, a beautiful place but it is an effort to visit. Carrie and I used to take our children to playgroup together, stop at the bakers on the way back to my house where we would buy the most delicious belgium buns on the planet. Happy days! Even when I moved we would speak every day. Now it’s sometimes once a month. We both have part time jobs, aging parents and Carrie is now a very hands-on grandmother. She is busier than ever. I did go and visit her last summer and we had a lovely time just walking along the beach front chatting. If you know someone really well it is easy to pick up where you left off.

A former friend, Angela, was someone I met at work before I was married. We kept in touch and met up when we had our sons at around the same time but I always felt she was slightly judgemental. She claimed her son had never watched television or had eaten anything containing sugar. Oddly, her son knew the names of all the Teletubbies so something was a bit suspect. My oldest son spent a lot of time in hospital over many years and it was a difficult time in my life, especially when I had two, much younger children. Instead of being supportive I remember her ringing and huffing when I explained that my boy was ill again. I realised it was actually boring to her. She went on to tell me about her fabulous holiday in Jamaica and I never heard from her again. I looked her up recently and she is now a person-centred counsellor. I hope she is a better listener to her clients than to her friends.

I think the rules for being a good friend are simple, be genuinely interested in the other person, don’t cancel plans without good reason, only offer your opinion if asked, don’t be insensitive when things are going well for you but they are having a hard time, never criticise their husband or children and buy them a thoughtful gift on their birthday. Easy!

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Cover Photo by Walter Randlehoff on Unsplash

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Birthday Blisters

On By samanthaIn GOING OUTLeave a comment

It was my birthday this week, another year older if not wiser. I don’t usually do very much to celebrate. For my 50th I threw a small party in my garden but, other than that, it is usually just business as usual with perhaps a meal out in the evening. This year my birthday fell on a Tuesday, my day off. My husband had a dentist appointment in London so we decided to meet outside London Bridge station late morning and spend the day in town. I caught the 9.30am train and it was standing room only. At least I don’t look old enough to be offered a seat. It amazes me that people have to be asked to move their bags so that other passengers can sit down, there was much huffing and tutting going on. The train is supposed to take about twenty minutes to reach London Bridge but it would have been quicker to walk (well, not really) as it crawled along at a snail’s pace.

It was a beautiful day so I decided to wear a summer dress by Sugarhill Brighton, a denim jacket from FatFace and white plimsolls from Schuh. Big mistake, huge, as Julia Roberts said to the snooty shop assistant in Pretty Woman. I have worn these plimsolls a few times before and never had a problem but maybe my feet had swollen in the heat, anyway, within half an hour of getting off the train they were rubbing badly. Now I do not have good feet. I won’t go into details but they are not a pretty sight and I loathe buying shoes and trainers. If they are not comfortable it can be such an expensive mistake. For most of the year I wear boots either by Gabor, Next or Russell and Bromley. I literally have one pair of evening shoes and some cheap-as-chips ASOS sandals that are so comfortable I bought multiple pairs. Havaiana flip flops are also a winner although I only wear them in the garden or at the beach. On one trip to Switzerland I was wearing new Birkenstocks, my previous, comfy pair no longer being fit to be seen in public. I had a migraine for the whole trip, possibly because of the altitude, and was taking a lot of painkillers. The tablets did nothing for my head but they must have numbed the pain in my foot because I failed to realise that the new sandals had rubbed a huge, deep hole in my little toe. It took weeks to heal and I nearly fainted when a woman ran over my foot with a trolley in Waitrose.

Back to my birthday outing; I hobbled to a river-front restaurant where we had a coffee. We then went to Borough Market but it was absolutely heaving with people, too busy to do anything other than get pushed along with the crowd. We strolled along Clink Street, where a chase scene in Oliver Twist was filmed, and here my husband gave some American tourists an impromptu history lesson. By this time I was feeling a little grumpy and wishing I had spent the day sitting in the garden. I couldn’t really say anything to my husband though who had taken the day away from work. We had a very overpriced and mediocre pub lunch and headed home. I then popped into see my parents, My mum still knows who I am although I think sometimes she is a little unsure. Dad explained that it was my birthday and she said “many happy returns” then forgot straight away. She did remember that I am a twin though. Dad always chooses the most beautiful cards and he can do the most gorgeous calligraphy. I have kept most of the cards my parents have sent me over the years. I stayed for a cup of tea and then it was time to go home and rest my throbbing feet.

Later that evening my children all gave me their cards and gifts, some Radley sunglasses, Clarins bronzer and a This Works Perfect cleavage and neck serum, all courtesy of my Amazon wishlist. I haven’t used the beauty gifts yet but I am very impressed with my new sunglasses, they are very light and look more expensive than they were. Apart from my new blisters it was a nice birthday spent with people I love.

Thank you for reading

Samantha