We are just plodding along here. Mum now spends most of the day sleeping. Every now and then she will mutter a phrase. One of her favourites is “I let my golden chance go by”. I Googled this and it is a lyric from If I Loved You from the musical Carousel. I wonder what Mum is thinking of when she says this or if it is just something that has floated into her mind. I hope there is no golden chance that she feels she missed in her life, that would seem unbearably sad to me.
She can still just about make it upstairs by hauling herself up using the handrails. It is very moving to watch as she mutters words of encouragement to herself. The urinary incontinence seems to be worse than ever. Dad buys Tena Lady pants for my mum to wear at bedtime and the Incontinence Service supply pads for her to wear during the day. Both products are next to useless and the washing machine is constantly on. After all my nagging for Dad to make sure Mum uses these products it is a big disappointment. Without doubt, out of all the Alzheimer’s disease complications, the incontinence has created the most stress and work . Dad is meticulous about washing and disinfecting but the upstairs of their house still smells strongly of urine no matter how many windows are opened.
Dad has some sort of urinary infection that is not responding to antibiotics which is very concerning. He rang his GP at 8am and the receptionist told him they could not offer him an appointment and he would need to ring at 8am the next day and try again. They cannot seem to use common sense and there is no flexibility. Needless to say I stepped in and got him an appointment that afternoon. Have these people never heard of sepsis? While I was waiting in the surgery for Dad to be seen another patient remonstrated with the receptionist about how unhelpful she is. I did feel a little sorry for her but the fact is she should realise that a ninety one year old man may need more help in organising appointments. Once she told him to take a taxi to the surgery at 8am to make an appointment then take another taxi later in the day to attend the said appointment. I rang the Practice Manager and complained on that occasion. I am taking Dad to the local hospital for blood tests this afternoon. I have to try to fit all of this in around my working day. We leave Mum sleeping while we are gone. If we expect to be more than forty five minutes then we have to arrange for a carer. The most concerning this is that Dad seems to have become suddenly very confused. I am hoping this will subside once his infection is successfully treated. I am sure there are families coping with two parents with cognitive decline but I don’t think I have the energy.
Dad decided that he needs an iPhone because of the unhelpful receptionist who keeps telling him that he should “use the app”. I have a spare at home that belonged to my daughter at one point. I decided to set up a monthly £10 contract for Dad as an extension of my own account with Sky Mobile. I had to create an Apple ID for him and bring his existing number over from Vodafone which proved surprisingly problematic. Within one minute of inserting the new SIM card with the temporary number a scam text pinged through -purportedly from Shien. Dad worries about scam calls on his landline and now it seems there is a whole new portal for criminals to reach him. The ironic thing is we have been unable to download the NHS app because my parents have no photo ID, they don’t have a current passport and have never had a driving licence. I need to investigate ways around this. Anyway Dad seems to be getting the hang of the iPhone and particularly likes it when I WhatsApp photos through to him. I think he may enjoy Duolingo as well, I will download it for him once he has mastered the basics. As long as he can make an emergency phone call then I am happy.
Thank you for reading
Samantha
Cover Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash
