The fact that I have a category on my blog called Shopping perhaps seems rather ironic to anyone who knows me because I loathe shopping. The only person I know who hates it more than I do is my daughter who world probably rather go to the dentist than to the shops.  When I was in my teens I used to catch the 294 bus to the next big town, Romford, and spend a happy hour or two wandering around Top Shop and Miss Selfridge. I think I enjoyed the freedom of having a little of my own money to spend and having autonomy over my clothing choices. Now it just seems like a chore, especially shopping for clothes. 

When I worked in The City in my twenties I would plan my outfits out for a fortnight at a time so I didn’t repeat them too often. I was constantly buying new clothes and shoes. Now, especially in the winter, I wear a variation on the same outfit every day, a warm sweatshirt and jeans. If I am leaving the house, which I seem to do less and less since I began working from home, I might put on a smarter top, probably from Zara, but that’s about the only concession. It is as if I have become a completely different person.

The worst type of place for my daughter and I to visit is a shopping mall but, occasionally, it is unavoidable. The nearest one to us is Bluewater near Dartford, a huge place whee the shop you need is always at the other end to where you are currently standing. I took my daughter there just before she left for university as she needed some new hoodies and a couple of things for going out but it is as if she goes into trance as soon as she enters a clothing store. Even in Urban Outfitters, one of her favourite brands, she doesn’t engage in the shopping experience at all. I wonder if it is a sense of overwhelm, there is inevitably blaring music playing and racks and racks of jumbled up clothes as well as random piles spilling over every surface, almost too much choice. We hastily picked out a couple of things and left. 

Shopping malls are, to me at least, completely souless places. Maybe I am biased as, many years ago, when I was heavily pregnant I went to Bluewater to buy a few last minute things for the baby. My husband had a work meeting nearby so I was just pottering around waiting for him to collect me when I tripped over a very shallow step that I hadn’t seen because of my bump. To avoid falling on my stomach I deliberately twisted to the side and ended up injuring my ankle. I couldn’t get back up again. Not one person helped me. I eventually managed to stand and dragged myself over to a bench and sat, quietly crying, until my husband came back. Despite their lack of assistance a group of women had stood around muttering “ooh she’s pregnant” and I think my tears were due to feeling completely humiliated. 

One form of shopping I actually quite enjoy is what my friend Caroline describes as a “rummage” around an old-fashioned department store. When I lived in Upminster there was, and I believe it is still there, a beautiful old store called Roomes. My mum even worked there for while, in the children’s department. When my oldest son was a baby I spent many contented half hour sitting in their coffee shop eating a huge slab of carrot cake and drinking a latte while gazing out of the window over the High Street. My son would conveniently nap in his pushchair until he became old enough to throw a tantrum, His biggest ever tantrum was on the floor of the toy department and I remember one imperious woman making me feel like the world’s worst mother. Newsflash – young children sometimes throw a wobbly. Now I occasionally hop on a train and visit a similar store, Hoopers, in Tunbridge Wells. It is much more expensive than Roomes and I do wonder how they keep going with an entire floor dedicated to things that an eighty year old would wear to a wedding but, again, I love to sit in their welcoming coffee shop watching the world go by.

Coffee and blueberry muffin at Hoopers in Tunbridge Wells

I do think it is a case of “use them or lose them” when it comes to the shops on our local high streets. In the town where I live it is already mostly all estate agents, coffee shops, nail bars and, more recently, vape shops. There is no shoe shop or children’s clothing store anymore and we have just lost another independent boutique. We do still have a branch of White Stuff that always seems to be empty so I did make a point of buying a couple of Christmas gifts from there. The lady working told me customers tend to order online but make the returns to the physical shop. She said she processed more returns than sales which must be rather disheartening.

These days I spend my time trying to get rid of stuff rather than accumulating it. Fortunately I don’t see the need for a trip to the mall for sometime so will carry on rummaging in the quirky department stores if I do need anything new. My daughter, however, will not be accompanying me!

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Cover Photo by Heidi Fin on Unsplash