Tag: Stress

University Work Placement Challenges

On By samanthaIn FAMILYLeave a comment

It is the beginning of November and getting dark at 4pm. I find the approach of winter a little more difficult with every year that passes. The people opposite put a spooky figure onto their garden wall for Halloween and every time I look out of the window I shudder. Hopefully he will be put back in a cupboard soon. Somebody asked me today if I am all ready for Christmas which made me feel a little panicked. The answer is resounding no – I have hardly given Christmas a single thought. Humbug.

I should have gone to the gym today but instead had a bacon sandwich for lunch and sat on the sofa watching Katharine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart in the wonderful 1951 film African Queen. I actually managed to relax instead of sitting there thinking about all the other things that I should be doing.

My daughter came home from university for one night as she had an interview for her second work placement. She had to prepare a case study, PowerPoint presentation and travel into London. As I have mentioned in an earlier post Heading Back to University , finding these work placements is a stressful process for students and extremely time consuming. They cannot just submit their CV, every position requires a bespoke application. The university is at least a two hour journey from the centre of London which is where many of the companies are based and train travel is expensive, one company did reimburse my daughter the £75 fare. Many of the students apply to multiple companies and it can be confidence destroying if they receive a few rejections. Not finding a placement is not an option on this course so they have to keep on going down the list provided by the university. My daughter attended one interview where she was questioned by a panel of four people then asked to complete some maths papers, the position went to someone else on her course. This time she was up against her friend and housemate. My daughter’s friend was interviewed and gave her presentation but my daughter was only interviewed. When she got home she had to hurriedly pack her bag and head back out as she is finally getting away for a few days. Before she left she received a call from the university placement officer saying she had been offered the position. I could see the tension leave my daughter’s body but she immediately started worrying about her friend who will have to keep on searching.

My mother-in-law has now been in hospital for a month with pneumonia. She cannot go home until her carers have been trained in using a nebuliser. My husband said she appears astonishly calm and we suspect that she is being given some sort of sedative. It’s difficult to believe one of the busiest hospitals in London can spare a bed for this long but the real worrying will start when she goes home and begins the cycle of not letting her carers in or shouting at them so much that they refuse to return. She will be ninety years old tomorrow and her other sons have travelled from their homes abroad to spend some time with her.

So some little wins this week, my daughter has her placement and I managed to enjoy a lazy couple of hours. Hopefully my daughter won’t spend her week in the sun cathing up with her university work and will come back feeling refreshed.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

The spooky, and quite frankly sinister, view from my windows.

Purse Predicament

On By samanthaIn SHOPPINGLeave a comment

In my recent post Shopping Shy I described how much my daughter hates shopping and that I think it’s the sense of overwhelm that is the problem. There is simply too much stuff to choose from. Gone are the days of going into a shop and having two or three choices. Now we all have fingertip access to thousands of retailers offering their, often very similar, wares.

In Ruby Wax’s book Frazzled she describes how the act of buying some cushions became a huge exercise in overthinking. I remember some years ago going onto Amazon to order some new salt and pepper grinders. There were hundreds and hundreds to choose from. Goodness knows how much time I wasted comparing them all, I actually began to feel quite stressed over this inconsequential decision. I eventually bought two perfectly ordinary wooden grinders which I have never given a second thought to since. 

This week I decided to buy a new purse. I wanted something smaller than I usually use with room for a few cards, a couple of coins and a little bit of cash. How hard could that be? Having sold several bags and purses on eBay as part of my ongoing de-cluttering exercise, I was in the position to treat myself to something nice if I wanted. I Googled small zip-around purse and was immediately swamped with choice. There was a beautiful Chanel number for an eye-watering price, I discounted that immediately as I have not won the lottery. Louis Vuitton have a pretty model for £350 but it’s still very expensive and I’m not a huge fan of their Monogram canvas. Mulberry have one for £240 but it is a little plain. Oliver Bonas have some at £26 but they aren’t leather although I was very tempted by the bright orange. I choose a glossy patent leather purse from French brand Isabel Bernard for £60 but a £30 delivery charge was added at checkout so I cancelled. Eventually, after much deliberating, I ordered one from the Kate Spade sale which came in at around £50. It arrived yesterday and is perfect. Phew.

I do wonder how all of these different retailers keep going, surely there can’t be that many people looking to buy the same product? I haven’t even mentioned all the hand made options available on Etsy. I buy most of my birthday cards from Etsy but I haven’t had a great experience with other items, the quality has been lacking or they just haven’t tuned up.

If you’d like to pick out your own small purse without the over-thinking drama, then take a look at my Pinterest board below, I have done the leg-work for you.

https://pin.it/rbgjK9HJ7

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Cover Photo by shawnanggg on Unsplash

Featured

Busy Doing Nothing

On By samanthaIn FAMILYLeave a comment

It’s December 27th and I am not in a good mood. I have two weeks away from work for Christmas, unpaid, as I have to work on a self-employed basis since the pandemic but that is a whole other, moany post. Since last Christmas I have only taken one week off so I have been looking forward to relaxing but, here’s the thing, I seem to have forgotten how. If I am not running around wearing myself out I feel anxious and lazy.

It has been a busy couple of days. At very short notice my mother-in-law was discharged from hospital on Christmas Day so my husband has not been at home very much at all. He spent Christmas day at her house refilling her kitchen cupboards and organising carers for her. I had our three children for Christmas lunch as well as my parents and brother. I did all of the cooking and clearing up. I had to collect my parents and, at the end of the day, drive them the short way home. Getting my house-bound mum in and out of the car safely was stressful but my oldest son did a wonderful job of helping. By the end of Christmas Day I was completely frazzled. On Boxing Day I went for a walk and had a big tidy up of the house. Oh the excitement!

Today I decided to let myself sit on the sofa and watch one of those soppy Hallmark Christmas movies. I was about fifteen minutes in and thoroughly enjoying the film when suddenly I realised it was 11am and there I was, a fit and able person, watching TV in the daytime, surely this is an actual crime. The film now spoiled, I went upstairs to sort laundry , barking complaints at my daughter for dumping just about every garment she has ever owned in the wash. Jeez, what a misery guts I am. Perhaps, I think, I will pointlessly catch a train to Tunbridge Wells and have a pointless wander around the shops, at least then I will be doing something but I am thwarted as the trains all appear to be cancelled and I can’t face driving around trying to find a a parking space. In the end I walk to my parents house and do a little bit of cleaning for them, I instantly feel better for having done something useful.

I wish I was a laid-back type of person, it would probably be far better for my health but that just isn’t my personality type at all. I don’t remember ever seeing my own mother sit down and rest during the day except perhaps on a Sunday afternoon when we would watch Hart to Hart or Butterflies together. If I wake up later than 7.30am I feel an instant sense of panic and guilt. I feel I should be up and doing something. Why am I like this? I read somewhere that we are Human Beings not Human Doings and sometimes we should allow ourselves to just…be.  I do worry about the link between cortisol, the stress hormone, and cancer. Apparently cortisol levels are higher on waking which is why I probably feel at my most jittery during the mornings. I need to make time for some deep breathing exercises and maybe I should try meditation.

My off-switch kicks in around 8pm and then I will take a bath or shower and maybe read or watch some TV . My daughter and I are revisiting old episodes of Dr Who. Probably not what I would choose to watch but she will be returning to university soon and it is a nice way to spend some time together. Phew, I can finally let myself relax. Hopefully I won’t wake up at 3am worrying about a mistake I made at work in 1997. 

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Cover Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash