Tag: Overthinking

Purse Predicament

On By samanthaIn SHOPPINGLeave a comment

In my recent post Shopping Shy I described how much my daughter hates shopping and that I think it’s the sense of overwhelm that is the problem. There is simply too much stuff to choose from. Gone are the days of going into a shop and having two or three choices. Now we all have fingertip access to thousands of retailers offering their, often very similar, wares.

In Ruby Wax’s book Frazzled she describes how the act of buying some cushions became a huge exercise in overthinking. I remember some years ago going onto Amazon to order some new salt and pepper grinders. There were hundreds and hundreds to choose from. Goodness knows how much time I wasted comparing them all, I actually began to feel quite stressed over this inconsequential decision. I eventually bought two perfectly ordinary wooden grinders which I have never given a second thought to since. 

This week I decided to buy a new purse. I wanted something smaller than I usually use with room for a few cards, a couple of coins and a little bit of cash. How hard could that be? Having sold several bags and purses on eBay as part of my ongoing de-cluttering exercise, I was in the position to treat myself to something nice if I wanted. I Googled small zip-around purse and was immediately swamped with choice. There was a beautiful Chanel number for an eye-watering price, I discounted that immediately as I have not won the lottery. Louis Vuitton have a pretty model for £350 but it’s still very expensive and I’m not a huge fan of their Monogram canvas. Mulberry have one for £240 but it is a little plain. Oliver Bonas have some at £26 but they aren’t leather although I was very tempted by the bright orange. I choose a glossy patent leather purse from French brand Isabel Bernard for £60 but a £30 delivery charge was added at checkout so I cancelled. Eventually, after much deliberating, I ordered one from the Kate Spade sale which came in at around £50. It arrived yesterday and is perfect. Phew.

I do wonder how all of these different retailers keep going, surely there can’t be that many people looking to buy the same product? I haven’t even mentioned all the hand made options available on Etsy. I buy most of my birthday cards from Etsy but I haven’t had a great experience with other items, the quality has been lacking or they just haven’t tuned up.

If you’d like to pick out your own small purse without the over-thinking drama, then take a look at my Pinterest board below, I have done the leg-work for you.

https://pin.it/rbgjK9HJ7

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Cover Photo by shawnanggg on Unsplash

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Bass Guitar Blues

On By samanthaIn FAMILYLeave a comment

For a joint Christmas and birthday present this year we bought my youngest son a beautiful new Fender electric bass guitar. I must admit I was slightly stunned by how much these things cost but we managed to get the model he wanted in the sales . My son had said that he’d like to sell his old guitar but first it needed to be sent off for repair. As it was still under warranty I was able to return it to the company I bought it from but they were very clear that it must be properly packaged up as they would not be liable for damage in transit. As I had disposed of the original box ages ago I had to buy a new box on eBay for £15. It was too small. So I had to buy a bigger box on eBay for £20. Ugh, annoying. My son really looks after his things so his gleaming black guitar was duly packaged up and I arranged for the courier to collect it, another £6.50. When the very surly courier arrived I asked him nicely if he could make sure that the guitar was carefully placed on the van. I had marked the box This Way Up and Fragile, Handle With Care in thick red marker on on every surface. It is a bit of a clue isn’t it? Anyway, the courier grunted, gave me a contemptuous look, completely ignored my request to hold the box a a certain way and slung the guitar on the back of the van. Ok, to be fair, I don’t actually know that he slung my son’s precious guitar but I bet he did. A couple of days later I received an email from the repair company along with some photos of my son’s guitar. It had a big chunk missing out of it and was horribly scratched. Hundreds of pounds worth of damage, more than the instrument is actually worth. I nearly cried. 

I asked the guitar company how I could go about claiming compensation from the courier but they told me that it had not been sufficiently packaged. This despite me using the worlds’ most expensive cardboard box, bubble wrap and plastic bags. So, instead of being angry with the miserable, incompetent sod of a courier I started berating myself. I have an airing cupboard full of old mattress protectors which are padded, why didn’t I think to wrap the guitar up in one of those? Why didn’t I buy more bubble wrap? I lost SO much sleep with this whirring around and around in my head. I still haven’t told my son about the damage and we haven’t had the guitar back yet. Fortunately he is thrilled with his new model. He is a good natured boy anyway and will probably just wonder what his daft mother is getting so worked up about. What’s done is done, there is no point dwelling on this. These things happen sometimes.

It must be nice to go through life not worrying about anything, just brushing problems off like water off a duck’s back .  My daughter has just come back from Cape Verde and is now wearing bracelets and a T shirt emblazoned with the island’s motto No Stress. Hotel guests were greeted with Hakuna Matata which, if you have ever seen The Lion King, you will know means No Worries or Take it Easy, It is a Swahili expression used by people who are clearly more laid-back than I am.

No Stress definitely isn’t my motto, more’s the pity, but perhaps I could try Less Stress, it would probably do me good.

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Header Photo by Susan Mohr on Unsplash

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Busy Doing Nothing

On By samanthaIn FAMILYLeave a comment

It’s December 27th and I am not in a good mood. I have two weeks away from work for Christmas, unpaid, as I have to work on a self-employed basis since the pandemic but that is a whole other, moany post. Since last Christmas I have only taken one week off so I have been looking forward to relaxing but, here’s the thing, I seem to have forgotten how. If I am not running around wearing myself out I feel anxious and lazy.

It has been a busy couple of days. At very short notice my mother-in-law was discharged from hospital on Christmas Day so my husband has not been at home very much at all. He spent Christmas day at her house refilling her kitchen cupboards and organising carers for her. I had our three children for Christmas lunch as well as my parents and brother. I did all of the cooking and clearing up. I had to collect my parents and, at the end of the day, drive them the short way home. Getting my house-bound mum in and out of the car safely was stressful but my oldest son did a wonderful job of helping. By the end of Christmas Day I was completely frazzled. On Boxing Day I went for a walk and had a big tidy up of the house. Oh the excitement!

Today I decided to let myself sit on the sofa and watch one of those soppy Hallmark Christmas movies. I was about fifteen minutes in and thoroughly enjoying the film when suddenly I realised it was 11am and there I was, a fit and able person, watching TV in the daytime, surely this is an actual crime. The film now spoiled, I went upstairs to sort laundry , barking complaints at my daughter for dumping just about every garment she has ever owned in the wash. Jeez, what a misery guts I am. Perhaps, I think, I will pointlessly catch a train to Tunbridge Wells and have a pointless wander around the shops, at least then I will be doing something but I am thwarted as the trains all appear to be cancelled and I can’t face driving around trying to find a a parking space. In the end I walk to my parents house and do a little bit of cleaning for them, I instantly feel better for having done something useful.

I wish I was a laid-back type of person, it would probably be far better for my health but that just isn’t my personality type at all. I don’t remember ever seeing my own mother sit down and rest during the day except perhaps on a Sunday afternoon when we would watch Hart to Hart or Butterflies together. If I wake up later than 7.30am I feel an instant sense of panic and guilt. I feel I should be up and doing something. Why am I like this? I read somewhere that we are Human Beings not Human Doings and sometimes we should allow ourselves to just…be.  I do worry about the link between cortisol, the stress hormone, and cancer. Apparently cortisol levels are higher on waking which is why I probably feel at my most jittery during the mornings. I need to make time for some deep breathing exercises and maybe I should try meditation.

My off-switch kicks in around 8pm and then I will take a bath or shower and maybe read or watch some TV . My daughter and I are revisiting old episodes of Dr Who. Probably not what I would choose to watch but she will be returning to university soon and it is a nice way to spend some time together. Phew, I can finally let myself relax. Hopefully I won’t wake up at 3am worrying about a mistake I made at work in 1997. 

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Cover Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash