Tag: Me-Time

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Busy Doing Nothing

On By samanthaIn FAMILYLeave a comment

It’s December 27th and I am not in a good mood. I have two weeks away from work for Christmas, unpaid, as I have to work on a self-employed basis since the pandemic but that is a whole other, moany post. Since last Christmas I have only taken one week off so I have been looking forward to relaxing but, here’s the thing, I seem to have forgotten how. If I am not running around wearing myself out I feel anxious and lazy.

It has been a busy couple of days. At very short notice my mother-in-law was discharged from hospital on Christmas Day so my husband has not been at home very much at all. He spent Christmas day at her house refilling her kitchen cupboards and organising carers for her. I had our three children for Christmas lunch as well as my parents and brother. I did all of the cooking and clearing up. I had to collect my parents and, at the end of the day, drive them the short way home. Getting my house-bound mum in and out of the car safely was stressful but my oldest son did a wonderful job of helping. By the end of Christmas Day I was completely frazzled. On Boxing Day I went for a walk and had a big tidy up of the house. Oh the excitement!

Today I decided to let myself sit on the sofa and watch one of those soppy Hallmark Christmas movies. I was about fifteen minutes in and thoroughly enjoying the film when suddenly I realised it was 11am and there I was, a fit and able person, watching TV in the daytime, surely this is an actual crime. The film now spoiled, I went upstairs to sort laundry , barking complaints at my daughter for dumping just about every garment she has ever owned in the wash. Jeez, what a misery guts I am. Perhaps, I think, I will pointlessly catch a train to Tunbridge Wells and have a pointless wander around the shops, at least then I will be doing something but I am thwarted as the trains all appear to be cancelled and I can’t face driving around trying to find a a parking space. In the end I walk to my parents house and do a little bit of cleaning for them, I instantly feel better for having done something useful.

I wish I was a laid-back type of person, it would probably be far better for my health but that just isn’t my personality type at all. I don’t remember ever seeing my own mother sit down and rest during the day except perhaps on a Sunday afternoon when we would watch Hart to Hart or Butterflies together. If I wake up later than 7.30am I feel an instant sense of panic and guilt. I feel I should be up and doing something. Why am I like this? I read somewhere that we are Human Beings not Human Doings and sometimes we should allow ourselves to just…be.  I do worry about the link between cortisol, the stress hormone, and cancer. Apparently cortisol levels are higher on waking which is why I probably feel at my most jittery during the mornings. I need to make time for some deep breathing exercises and maybe I should try meditation.

My off-switch kicks in around 8pm and then I will take a bath or shower and maybe read or watch some TV . My daughter and I are revisiting old episodes of Dr Who. Probably not what I would choose to watch but she will be returning to university soon and it is a nice way to spend some time together. Phew, I can finally let myself relax. Hopefully I won’t wake up at 3am worrying about a mistake I made at work in 1997. 

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Cover Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

This week I have been…

On By samanthaIn GOING OUTLeave a comment

Reading– Into The Uncanny by Danny Robins

Danny Robins presents a wonderfully spooky podcast called Uncanny. He is also the award winning journalist behind the podcast The Witch Farm and TV series and Podcast The Battersea Poltergeist. The paranormal isn’t really my usual genre but I must admit Robins’ boyishly sincere and enthusiastic presenting style makes for enjoyable listening. He is someone who desperately wants to believe in ghosts but has yet to be convinced.  As he would say, he is hovering between Team Believer and Team Sceptic. The people recounting their personal brushes with the inexplicable are often very credible; scientists, policemen, doctors and the like. Intelligent people who understand that what they have witnessed is impossible but, as the theme song to the podcast attests, they know what they saw.

Into The Uncanny is Robins’ new book which covers never heard before stories, all of them exceptionally chilling. Robins throws in a couple of personal anecdotes and, had I been the editor, I would have omitted the one about his garden shed, it’s just a bit over the top and daft. Other than that, he really is a first rate story teller. Research for this book takes him to Rome to investigate suspected poltergeist activity. Let me ask you a question, if you thought your rental property was haunted by a terrifying poltergeist would you ask a teenage boy to babysit? Then there is the perfectly normal family who had the misfortune to be left with both auditory and visual hauntings after an architectural dig disturbs something (or someone) on their land. The mother and daughter both struggled psychologically for years after these frightening events and Robins treats them very respectfully. I always wonder if the people who sell these supposedly haunted properties disclose the activity to any potential purchasers. 

Robins, possibly the Louis Theroux of the paranormal, can persuade just about anybody to let him look around their potentially haunted property and it is when he takes the original witnesses back to the scenes of the hauntings that things really start to become interesting. The book also covers some UFO activity, again with extremely credible witnesses but, for some reason, these stories don’t interest me so much. I do wonder if he wouldn’t be better to keep the green men separate from the ghosts. Overall a brilliant read and do check out Robins’ podcasts too. 

Watching – Leave The World Behind on Netflix

Julia Roberts and Ethan Hawke star in this apocalyptic thriller. They play Amanda and Clay Sandford, a couple who decide to take their two children on a vacation to a luxury rental home. While in bed one night they are woken by a knock on the door and find GH Scott, the owner of the property and his daughter, Ruth, standing there in evening clothes having supposedly come from the opera. GH explains that there has been some sort of blackout and asks if they can come in and spend the night rather than driving back to the city. Amanda is immediately suspicious and Ruth, played by Myha’la, bristles at what she perceives as Amanda’s thinly veiled racism.  Does Amanda not believe that a GH, a black man, played by Mahershala Ai, can possibly be the owner of such an impressive property? To be honest, if complete strangers turned up at my door in the middle of the night begging to be let in I would be suspicious as well. Ruth and GH end up sleeping in the basement, albeit it a very nice basement, of their own house.

The plot is fairly predictable, fear and uncertainty spreads as nobody knows what is happening or who is behind the events A prepper and neighbour, played by Kevin Bacon, is all stocked up with food and medicine but brings out his shotgun when asked for help. There are a couple of genuinely shocking moments, one involving out of control Teslas and the other a gory dental scene. Overall, Leave The World Behind doesn’t offer anything that I haven’t seen a dozen times before.  It is over two hours long and I really had lost interest by the unsatisfactory ending. 

Listening to – Stories from the Village of Nothing Much on ITunes

This gorgeously relaxing podcast is written and narrated by Kathryn Nicolai. Nicolai describes herself as “an architect of cozy”, she has another podcast designed to help listeners sleep, called Nothing Much Happens which has been downloaded over one hundred million times. Listening to Nicolai’s wonderfully soothing voice is almost a form of meditation. The stories themselves are simple yet well written. In them Nicolai potters around the pretty village where her fictional self lives finding cheering things to do to brighten up the winter. Pleasure is found in simple things, a delicious cup of coffee or a browse around a Christmas market. Everybody is friendly and time spent alone is something to be cherished. This village is somewhere that I would quite like to move to myself. If you are feeling frazzled at this busy time of the year then do listen in.

Cover Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

This week I have been…

On By samanthaIn GOING OUTLeave a comment

Reading – Manhattan Nocturne by Colin Harrison.

Do you ever think back to a book that you really enjoyed reading years ago but no longer have? You’d love to repurchase it or borrow it from the library but you can’t remember its name. This happens to me ALL the time. I first read Manhattan Nocturne on holiday in Florida in 2000. Because it is such a doorstep of a book and our luggage upon returning home was already overweight, I left in in the hotel room. Anyway, I was recently purchasing from World of Books on eBay and decided to have a browse and what was on the second page of scrolling but this long lost thriller, I immediately recognised the cover. 99p and a few days later I was able to begin re-reading this fantastic thriller.

Porter Wren, a tabloid columnist has a lovely life with his surgeon wife and two children living in their quirky “Apple Tree House” in New York. He meets a beautiful and mysterious young widow at a party who asks him to investigate the bizarre death of her film director husband. Unfortunately for Wren, somebody powerful is watching him very carefully and he soon finds himself in trouble way over his head. This is one of the most gripping thrillers I have read, or re-read, in long time. The author, Colin Harrison, is a former Editor of Harpers magazine and wrote a series of thrillers, all based around money and sex and set in New York. Bodies Electric being the next one I plan to revisit.

Watching-Six Years Gone on Amazon Prime Video

Not what you would call a cheerer-upper, this bleak but very compelling drama directed by Warren Dudley tells the story of Carrie, played by Veronica Jane Trickett. Pretty, young and carefree Carrie has a day off work so, after sending Lolly, her eleven year old daughter off to school, has a nap then a bit of afternoon delight with the local estate agent then pops in for a coffee and catch up with her friend. Carrie is relaxed knowing that her Mum, Mary, is going to pick up Lolly from school. Except that Mary forgets, nobody has realised that she has early onset dementia . Three hours pass before Carrie finds out that her daughter appears to have vanished off the face of the earth.

Suddenly it is six years later and Carrie looks absolutely ravaged by grief and desperation. She and Lolly had previously been living in a big house in Brighton paid for by her her ex-husband but he stops the money and she and Mary, now incontinent and needing constant care, live on a rough estate. Carrie is now working as cleaner and struggling to make ends meet. The men in her life, her ex husband and brother are noticeably absent when she needs assistance, and the police have been totally ineffective in finding missing Lolly.

What struck me most about the film is how, when spotting a young woman having the most miserable time, so many vulture-like people were circling to take advantage. From the manageress at the social club where Carrie cleans to the men who smell her desperation and take whatever they want from her, people are just out for themselves. The only kindness is from a bailiff who shows a little bit of compassion towards Carrie having recognised her name from the news. Be warned, Six Years Gone is a tough watch, there is one particularly harrowing scene, but utterly engrossing with fantastic performances, especially from Trickett and Sarah Priddy who plays Mary.

Listening to – Real Survival Stories Podcast

This is an absolutely addictive podcast and I have been known to drive around the block just to reach the end of a particular story. My favourite so far has been the two part tale Pacific Castaways . Douglas Robertson tells us how, in 1971, his family decided to embark on a trip around the globe in their yacht, The Lucette. After the vessel is attacked by a school of killer whales the seafarer’s dream trip becomes the stuff of nightmares and things just go from bad to worse. I think I would have abandoned all hope within the first ten minutes but not the Robertsons. This is absolutely compelling listening and, even after five decades have passed, Douglas still becomes emotional when recounting the events. This podcast is a Noiser production, I listened on Itunes.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Cover Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash