Tag: HEALTH

Yuka – Why Am I Putting This On My Body?

On By samanthaIn HEALTHLeave a comment

The other morning I watched my husband roll out of bed and get ready to leave the house in about five minutes. It takes me at least an hour to do the same thing. It started me thinking about the multitude of personal care products that perform part of my morning ritual. Are they really helping me to stay looking young and smelling fresh or do the multitude of chemicals that most of them contain cause me harm? I had recently read in a book about dementia prevention that coated dental floss, a product that I have used every day for thirty five years, contains chemicals, such as Teflon, that can contribute towards cognitive decline.

A friend called me and asked which foundation I use. I told her Estee Lauder Double Wear. She asked if I had the box. No, why was she asking? She said that her daughter had recommended an app called YUKA. The app enables you to scan barcodes for almost all your food and personal hygiene products. Yuka then provides a detailed breakdown of the ingredients and rates the product from 0-100 and uses terms such as Bad, Poor, Good and Excellent. The app then suggests more healthy alternatives. There is no advertising on Yuka and brands cannot pay to have their products recommended, the information the user gets is all derived from independent testing.

Within about thirty seconds of finishing speaking to my friend I had downloaded the app and was frantically scanning everything in sight. I must warn you, it is highly addictive.

Here is how my morning list, including my breakfast, scored. My dental floss had a bar code but wouldn’t scan unfortunately.

  • Marks and Spencer Restoring Hand Wash – Poor
  • Sanex Shower Gel – Good
  • Garnier Vitamin C Body Superfood- Good
  • Garnier Soothing Botanical Cleansing Lotion -Good
  • Coco Mademoiselle Deodorant – Bad
  • Colgate Maximum Cavity Protection Toothpaste -Poor
  • Corsodyl Daily Mouthwash – Bad
  • This Works Perfect Cleavage & neck Serum – Poor
  • John Frieda Pro-Filler Shampoo & Conditioner – Poor
  • Boots No 7 Restore & Renew Day Cream – Bad
  • Chanel Chance Eau Tendre EDT – Good
  • Manicurist Active Shine Illumine & Repare – Excellent
  • Marks and Spencer High Fibre Granola – Excellent
  • Vaseline Vanilla Daydream Lip Therapy – Poor

Now this long list does not even include my make up products. As most cosmetic products are boxed, the bar code does not appear on the product itself . I did scan my new Charlotte Tilbury lip liner which scored 11/100 – Bad. My friend is going to take herself off to John Lewis or somewhere similar and scan the various foundations. YUKA will also suggest alternative products as she does this. She has already switched shampoo to Ogx Thick & Full Collagen shampoo which scored 79/100 and a rating of Excellent. I noticed that Garnier products scored highly so I may try one of their tinted moisturisers. Also, the Seoulsista serum infused masks that I often use both on my face and hands scored as Good. You can buy these in Oliver Bonas along with the Manicurist range of nail products (score, Excellent) . My expensive Chanel deodorant, that I bought by mistake thinking it was my usual body spray, was disappointing and joining this as worst of the bunch was my Boots No 7 moisturiser that scored 0/100, especially annoying as I have just purchased a new jar.

My husband and son have eczema so I have always been careful in my choices when buying personal hygiene products for them but have never given much thought to the chemicals in my own make up, body lotions or shampoos. With, YUKA, it is easy to make more informed decisions about what we are putting in and on our bodies. I am going to take it to the supermarket to tweak my weekly food shop. YUKA is a free app, although a premium version is available, so there is no excuse not to get scanning.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Tackling Insomnia – Part One

On By samanthaIn HEALTH3 Comments

Happy New Year!

This week I have really battled with insomnia. I tend to go to bed around 10.30pm and am usually asleep by 11pm but have been waking about at around 3am and finding it almost impossible to fall back to sleep. If I do manage to nod back off, I am plagued by the most terrible nightmares, possibly caused by the Propranolol that I take for migraine prevention. The sort of nightmares that stay with you all day. Menopause apparently is also a major culprit when it comes to low quality sleep.

Last night I woke with a migraine after sleeping for four hours and got out of bed to take a Sumitriptan tablet. That was it for the night then, I just lay there trying not to disturb my husband. We have a burglar alarm and, although I know you are suppose to get out of bed and not just lie there trying to sleep, I didn’t want to venture downstairs and risk the beeping waking the rest of my family. Fortunately today is a Saturday and I am not working and I don’t have to drive anywhere because I feel shattered.

My daughter bought me a rather lovely silk sleep mask from Millie & Boo for Christmas. The mask has wonderful reviews with people stating that using it radically improved the quality of their sleep. The mask, which is well made, super soft and a pretty silver grey, arrived beautifully boxed. It fastens with velcro and I have been careful not to secure it too tightly nonetheless I think the slight pressure across the top of my face has contributed to my migraine. Maybe not the solution I have been searching for.

My GP was optimistic that the Utrogestan capsules that I take before bed as part of my HRT routine would help, and for a few months they did, but my insomnia is now back with a vengeance. Once it gets to around 3am I am wide awake and unable to stop the racing thoughts that flood my mind. I start to worry about…well everything. A mistake I made at work in 1989, something daft I said at a coffee morning in 1999, I’m stressing about it at 3am in 2025. Apparently we experience a Cortisol (known as the stress hormone) spike at around this time and this is why early morning waking is so common. I note that my fists are often clenched and I have slept with a sheet over my face since I was a little girl and was frightened of ghosts whispering to me. Both of these things are apparently signs of high stress levels. It has become increasingly clear that one of the first things I need to tackle in 2025 is my insomnia as it is going to start affecting my long term health. In particular, in light of my mum’s Alzheimer’s disease, I am keen to regularly achieve a good night’s sleep to help prevent cognitive decline.

This week I am not going to watch television on my computer before bed which is a habit I have fallen into. I am going to sit in bed and read an actual book, nothing dark or frightening. I do read three or four books a month but it used to be around double that before I discovered the endless entertainment on Netflix . I am also going to try to do some sort of pre-sleep meditation to relax my body, particularly my hands and jaw which is where I seem to store most of my stress and tension. I shall report back.

Wish me luck.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

A Beginner’s Tale: Core Fitness Struggles

On By samanthaIn HEALTHLeave a comment

I joined the gym a few months ago and my membership gives me access to any number of scary-sounding exercise classes. Most of those I would be interested in attending fall on my working days so I am left with “Core Fitness”. I am looking to improve my core strength and stability so this sounded perfect.

The first week I went along, the class was packed and I couldn’t believe how difficult I found it. I was by far the least coordinated in the group although I later found out some of the other women (they are all women) have been attending this class for years. There were lots of yoga poses involved and everybody else seemed to know exactly what these were. For the following five days the muscles in my abdomen were killing me. I have started watching some YouTube videos where I can learn how to do the exercises correctly without injuring myself and in the privacy of my own bedroom. After my fourth class, I began to feel a little more confident. Then, the Swiss Balls appeared and all was lost. Michelle, the instructor, tells us we are going to be using the balls and the entire class erupts in a sort of synchronised groan. I had no clue what was going on. Then Michelle distributed the inflatable balls. I am given the largest one. She tells me I am tall and therefore need the super sized ball. I am five foot eight inches tall, not six foot five. I lie on top of it and don’t feel safe at all, wobbling all over the place and my feet don’t reach the floor. I have never done this type of exercise at all and this wasn’t a very successful first attempt. In the end I did the exercises on the mat, putting the inflatable to one side. I left feeling really quite humiliated.

The following week I forced myself to go back, hoping the wretched balls wouldn’t feature again. Unfortunately they did and we were told to go to the equipment cupboard and select one appropriate for our height. One of the other women, who I had never even spoken to before, passed me a smaller ball and told me she had felt really sorry for me the previous week. Then another women piped up that she had too and that she was really impressed that I kept going. I thought it was so kind of them to take the time to say something encouraging. We all got in our rows and the woman to my left was told that she needed the moon-sized ball but she actually refused to take it. It was still a wobbly workout but I managed the exercises much better on the smaller ball and this time left feeling pleased that I’d made the effort.

I have missed a month of my classes due to working additional days and my never-ending cough but I returned yesterday and, sure enough, the Swiss Balls, were rolled out. I think I will have to find another class if this continues. I managed the exercises reasonably well but the balls are filthy as is the gym floor, covered in other people’s hair. There isn’t really enough space for all of us either. After my class ended one of the women asked me if I would like to join her walking group one day. There are some really nice people around.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Cover Image by Nhi Nguyễn Tường from Pixabay

Liz Earle -A Better Second Half

On By samanthaIn HEALTHLeave a comment

This week I have been ill with a really bad cold. I am self employed so have soldiered on but been unable to answer the phone due to having absolutely no voice. Two of my family members suffer from severe asthma so I try to keep to keep my germs to myself although, inevitably, they pick up illnesses when out and about. My daughter has gone back to university so I have been sleeping in her room so as not to breath the lurgy over my husband.

Ironically, I suspect I picked up the cold at a wellness event, part of the Sevenoaks Literary Festival, hosted by our local independent bookshop and held at Walthamstow Hall school. The speaker, entrepreneur and health journalist, Liz Earle, was promoting her latest book, A Better Second Half which, as the title suggests, is about maximising health and wellbeing during the second half of our lives. The event was packed with women, one of whom seemed to be transcribing the entire interview rather than purchasing a £22 copy of Earle’s book like the rest of us.

Liz Earle walked out on the stage looking lovely in turquoise wide leg trousers and a cream silk top, she had gold Mary-Jane shoes on her feet, very glam and the sort of effortless put together look that is so hard to achieve. She also looked a little tired, not surprising as she had had a nightmare with the trains and also a late night. Earle was keen for us to know that she is sixty one and her boyfriend is forty four, they met on the dating app Ivory Towers. I have noticed that dating younger men seems to be used as a measure of an older women’s attractiveness. Earle also said, tongue firmly in cheek, that she had her biological age analysed and it is thirty nine therefore she is actually younger than him which got a chortle from the audience. Although Earle has now embraced her age, she was so dreading turning sixty that she initially cancelled her birthday party. Many of us have felt that way when a big birthday is looming.

Many people will associate Earle with the beauty brand bearing her name and it was fascinating to hear her speak about how this came about. Liz, and her partner, Kim Buckland combined their expertise and founded the company in 1995, it went on to be the UK’s biggest selling independent skincare brand. Who hasn’t at least tried Cleanse and Polish? They sold the company in 2010 and Earle reverted what she really feels passionate about, writing about women’s health. She made it quite clear that she has no interest in starting again in the beauty business.

Earle bought a farm with some of the proceeds from the sale of her company and there is a pond on the property. She tells us that she sometimes goes and sits in the cold water, up to her shoulders. She also turns the water to cold when she is in the shower. She is a big fan of grounding which is where you stand on grass or soil in bare feet, the theory being that the electrical charge can calm inflammation, reduce stress and promote healing. As Earle herself says, it does sound rather woo woo but the concept is nothing new. Earle speaks about wanting to live to one hundred and twenty and says that biohackers are aiming for one hundred and eighty. She says that being ninety and sitting in a chair having lost your marbles is not living. This upset me, it describes my mum to a tee and it hurts. However, Earle isn’t really wrong. I have read about biohackers and their quest for near immortality. I believe one takes plasma transfusions from his son and I saw a video of him doing the most extreme exercises that made him look more humanoid than human. A person would have to be enormously rich to afford to live that long and it does not interest me at all, it just seems unnatural, but I might feel differently when I am one hundred and nineteen.

Earle spoke at length about the benefits of HRT and dispelled some of the misinformation around it. She also recommended various vitamins and peptides. The floor was opened to questions and one woman asked about mouth-taping, Earle is fan. You put a strip of medical tape over your mouth so that you are forced to breathe through your nose as you sleep. I don’t think I would be able to tolerate that. Earle also spoke about building muscle mass through using weights, something which I am intimidated to start but really should.

Liz Earle has clearly carried out endless research and I feel I can trust her advice, she is highly respected in her field. Even her own GP told her that patients often mention her research during consultations, usually about the menopause. Earle has her own podcast and has published a plethora of books. I am looking forward to reading A Better Second Half , a real doorstop of a book. Visit her website, Liz Earle Wellbeing, for more information.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

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Gym Jitters

On By samanthaIn HEALTHLeave a comment

It is my birthday month, another year older, and time to begin taking my health a little less for granted. I take very little exercise, a couple of walks a week of maybe a couple of miles and running up and down the many stairs in my house, that is about it. I spend about twenty five hours a week sitting at my desk working. I hardly take a break and my husband commented that my posture isn’t as good as it used to be. I have noticed a couple of my friends are losing muscle mass and looking a little frailer as well. I desperately need to do some exercise. There are numerous work out videos available on YouTube but I don’t have a clue about what I am doing and feel I am quite likely to injure myself without some proper instruction. I am going to have to join a gym and actually turn up. The thought fills me with dread.

Where I live there are several gyms to choose from. There is the fancy one ten minutes down the road but I am not prepared to pay £150 a month for membership. Then there is the other swanky gym in the country club where lots of my friends go. Membership here is £119 per month, this is still far more than I want to pay and the place is a twenty five minute drive from my home, I just know I won’t be bothered to go, especially in the winter. In the end I decide to go for the easy option, the local leisure centre. The place where I have taken my children for endless swimming lessons and birthday parties. Membership here starts at £39.50 a month, it is a eight minute drive from my house and parking is easy and free.

I have a drawer full of nice gym outfits that I never actually wear so I put on a T shirt and some Marks and Spencer leggings, trying to ignore the fact that they feel a bit snug, that’s just the compression panel right? I then drive to the leisure centre to sign up. The young woman greeting me sells me the slightly more expensive membership which includes a personal training session every quarter and the ability to book classes a fortnight in advance. She then takes me on a tour. The gym equipment looks both mystifying and terrifying. I don’t really see myself swimming but I would like to take some exercise classes. The last time I took my daughter swimming at the leisure centre someone tried to break into my locker and, on another occasion many years ago, a very respectable looking woman tried to make off with my Mulberry handbag while I was helping my son who was having an asthma attack. “Mummy” my boy wheezed and I grabbed it back. The women scarpered. Anyway, I digress, the staff member asks me if I would like to take a class right then and there. Now??? I pretend there is somewhere else I urgently have to be but arrange an induction session at the gym for the following week. I also sign up for a Core Fitness class but not for a fortnight.

Before I even get home the leisure centre email me cancelling my induction session which is not a promising start. They ask if I can come the same evening instead. I have a stonking migraine, I really just want to take some co-codamol and crawl into bed. Nevertheless I pull on my leggings and drive back to the gym, I am surprised at how nervous I feel. Am I going to look a complete, uncoordinated idiot? When I arrive I am met by Kyle, who is going to carry out my induction A muscular, tattooed chap of about thirty who has such a professional and unpatronising manner that I begin to wonder what I was apprehensive about. He asks what my goals are and I say I want to get stronger and fitter. I do not want to lose weight but that is probably obvious from looking at me. Kyle shows me around, demonstrating how the various pieces of equipment work and then I have a try with him supervising, he explains how my legs shouldn’t be too straight as I don’t want my knees to lock and that the downward movement is more important than the upward movement when using the weight machines. He adds a 5kg weight and I just about manage. I am pleased to see the other gym-users are just minding their own business and not in the least bit interested in what I am doing. After about forty five minutes I am ready to go home. Kyle suggests I book a complementary personal training session. He says it won’t take much time for me to get fitter and suggests an exercise class that he thinks will suit me . He said that, once I have gained a little confidence, it will be beneficial for me to learn how to use the free weights. I leave the gym feeling pleased that I made the effort to go. I can do this! I go home and lie down with an ice-pack pressed to my temple.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Cover Image by Nhi Nguyễn Tường from Pixabay

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Migraine Misery – Part Two

On By samanthaIn HEALTH1 Comment

In my recent post, Migraine Misery, I was complaining about my frequent and painful migraines. I finally got around to going back to my GP and asking for some help. On the day of the appointment I was on the fifth day of a migraine and my left eye was pulsating with pain and felt very nauseous. Although it is never good to be ill, I think my GP could tell simply from looking at me that this wasn’t just an ordinary headache. During the past year I have had migraine pain on more days than not and has really been getting me down. My migraine attacks became much more frequent during my peri-menopause but improved after my periods stopped but, once I started taking HRT, they were back with a vengeance. I stopped taking HRT months ago but there has been no improvement. I am keen to restart HRT for some of the long-term benefits that it offers.

I don’t have time to go and lay down in a darkened room and, even if I could, it wouldn’t make me feel any better. Sometimes I sleep with an ice-pack wrapped in a tea towel balanced precariously on my temple. Paracetamol won’t make any difference and I don’t like to take Co-Codamol unless nothing else has worked, it will usually relax the knotty, tight feeling in my temple but don’t take it if you are hoping to go to the toilet in he next week! There is a roll on menthol medication called 4-Head that may work with a mild headache but, if my migraine pain is at 100 it will maybe bring it down to 99.9.

I was hoping my GP would agree to send me for a MRI but, as the pain has not changed the way it presents, she said it is not necessary. I have been taking a drug called Sumitriptan for about fifteen years but lately it has not been very effective. My Doctor has prescribed Zolmitriptan instead. Triptans don’t prevent migraine but, if taken at the onset of an attack, they can be very effective in treating it. As a preventative measure my GP prescribed a beta-blocker called Propranolol. I have to take 40mg, twice a day, every day. There was some delay with the pharmacy having the medication in stock and I have to admit I was very reluctant to start taking the tablets, a daily medication feels like a significant step. I have friends who take Propranolol for anxiety and my dad takes beta-blockers since suffering a heart attack. The pharmacist telephoned me twice within the first fortnight of me starting the beta-blocker to check I wasn’t experiencing any unpleasant side effects such as “vivid dreams”. Well, three weeks in and I have never had such strange dreams in my life! I dreamed about my childhood bedroom and the detail was incredible right down to feel of the anaglypta wallpaper that I thought I had forgotten ever existed. It is amazing what our sub-conscious can dredge up.

A month into my new treatment plan and I have only had one migraine and that was on a day when I was dehydrated, always a trigger. The Zolmitriptan was extremely effective and I only needed one dose as opposed to three or dour doses of the Sumatriptan. Usually in this time period I would expect to suffer from as many as five migraine attacks so, so far, the results have been excellent. Other than the weird dreams, I haven’t had any side-effects other than feeling much better.

Thanks for reading,

Samantha


Cover Photo by Myriam Zilles on Unsplash

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Migraine Misery

On By samanthaIn HEALTH1 Comment

What does a migraine feel like? Well I suppose it is different for every sufferer. I am on the fourth day of a migraine that feels like somebody is power drilling into my left eyeball. It usually starts with a pulsating pain in my eye and radiates out to my temple, ear and neck. Sometimes my gums start throbbing as well and I feel nauseous. The pain usually lasts around four days. My prescription medication, Sumitriptan, is generally very effective but sometimes it just doesn’t work and this seems to be happening more often as of late. I rang my GP surgery a month ago for a “non-urgent” appointment and am finally booked to see a doctor next week.

I had my first migraine while having lunch with my mum in the restaurant in Debenhams department store, Romford in 1986. I was eating an egg mayonnaise sandwich and the pain just hit me out of nowhere. I can eat eggs, a couple a week, but more than that and I can expect to have a pounding head. Other triggers include processed cheese, grinding my teeth, stress, being dehydrated, being overtired, perfume and repetitive noise. Since my first attack I have seen my GP a few times but they never refer me on for a brain scan simply telling me it isn’t necessary as long as the pain doesn’t change its pattern. My GP surgery isn’t big on sending people for tests.

I sit at my computer for at least three days every week for my job, I am a Personal Assistant to a private hospital consultant, not a neurologist sadly. Like the rest of the world I also spend too much of every day pointlessly scrolling through my phone and then I will often watch an hour of something on Netflix before I go to bed. So much screen time! I have just had my eyes tested though and that doesn’t appear to be the cause.

I stopped taking HRT in the summer after I had a migraine for almost every day during July. I saw my GP who hardly even glanced in my direction and said, again, that I don’t need further investigation as the pain is the same as it has always been. He told me to come off HRT for a fortnight and see if it made a difference. Surely it would take more than a fortnight for the effects to be noticeable? Anyway I have not resumed taking it but that is another thing I want to discuss during my ten minute appointment next week. I initially started taking HRT after two five minute telephone consultations. I had read that it could be helpful in warding off dementia. There were no blood tests involved so I don’t understand how the GP knew which hormones I needed if they didn’t know which I was deficient in. I have now started waking up in the night feeling hotter than the surface of the sun so perhaps I need to restart.

During the five years proceeding my menopause I had weekly horrible migraines. My family got fed up with hearing about it. People think it is a “just a headache”. I was working in an office and I am sure the colleague I sat next to thought I was addicted to pain killers. I actually try to take as few painkillers as I can get away with but you try looking at a screen all day and making chirpy phone calls when it feels like you have a pick-axe embedded in your brain. It is different if you are at home and can go and lie in a quiet dark room but who has time to do that?

So, a rather moany post from me but I will report back after my visit to the GP. Wish me luck.

Thanks for reading,

Samantha


Cover Photo by Myriam Zilles on Unsplash

The Dementia Diaries – Chapter Two, Heart Attack – Part I

On By samanthaIn THE DEMENTIA DIARIESLeave a comment

It is ten o’clock one Sunday evening and I am just about to go to bed when my phone starts ringing. I see that it is my parents’ number and hurriedly pick up. My mum unfortunately can no longer manage to make a telephone call so I was expecting to hear Dad’s voice. I was certain it must be some sort of emergency to be calling this late. There didn’t appear to be anyone on the line but then I heard Dad say very quietly “I’m having chest pains”. He seemed to be on the other line to the emergency services. Now, Dad usually keeps his Nokia mobile phone in its box in the back bedroom, he occasionally charges it if he is going to out somewhere but I don’t think I have ever once been able to reach him on it. The fact that it was charged and within reach this particular day was very serendipitous.

My parents literally live a few minutes away from me so I pulled on some jeans over my pyjamas and my husband and I rushed round there. On the way out I grabbed the keys to their house. When I arrived Dad was sitting back on the sofa, ashen faced and mum just looked frightened and confused. Dad confirmed that an ambulance was on the way. He was clearly more worried about what was going to happen to Mum than he was about his own situation, it was really very touching. I assured him that I wouldn’t leave Mum on her own for a second and I could see him visibly relax. He asked me to put together a bag for him to take to the hospital. 

The ambulance still hadn’t arrived after forty-five long minutes so I had to ring again. Then they sent two, what a waste of resources.  The paramedic in charge wired Dad to a portable ECG machine and assured him he wasn’t having a heart attack – this was completely wrong as we would discover when Dad was examined by a doctor. We decided that it would be better if I stayed at my parents’ house with Mum and my husband went in the ambulance with Dad to the hospital. I was very conflicted about this because they have been married for sixty two years and it felt wrong to keep them separate at this time but I also knew that looking after Mum would be a job in itself once we reached the hospital and that she would become difficult because she would be away from her familiar, safe home environment.  It was a cold night, very late and Mum was already understandably becoming distressed. Before the paramedics had even left, she had completely forgotten what had happened and kept asking who the strangers were in their house. 

During the next hour Mum must have asked me where Dad was twenty times. It was incessant. I kept gently explaining and she would look frightened and then repeat the question. I was almost sick with worry myself. My husband was very good and kept me informed and within a couple of hours it became clear that Dad was going to be OK. I spoke to Dad before going to bed and he just wanted to know that Mum was alright.  He said that yes, he had a small heart attack but that the pain had subsided and he was OK. The doctors were going to speak to him the following day about treatment options. Mum and I went off to bed, I slept on my childhood bed under the red Habitat duvet cover I had chosen when I was twelve.  It is probably a collector’s item now!

It took Mum a long time to settle down for the night and I was beginning to lose hope of getting any sleep but she eventually nodded off. I was trying to process everything that had happened. One minute we all seemed to be muddling along and then the next, a massive spanner has hit the works. What would happen to Mum if Dad couldn’t look after her anymore? She certainly couldn’t live alone and I don’t have a spare bedroom. and I have a job, how would we manage?

The next morning I was awake at the crack of dawn and decided to tackle the laundry mountain that poor Dad had been dealing with on a daily basis for the past year or so. Unfortunately incontinence is a symptom of dementia and Mum had recently begun to have problems in this area. She refused to use any products designed to help even though the District Nurse had supplied some, again the “nothing is wrong” approach to things. There was washing all over the house, on every radiator. Dad would consider it far too extravagant to use the tumble dryer sitting, unused, in their utility room. I was just folding up various items of clothing when Mum appeared and demanded to know what I was doing. She would do the laundry she insisted. Even at the age of fifty something, I find it heard to assert myself with Mum and I pretended I hadn’t heard. She then seemed to realise that it was odd that I was even there at all and asked where Dad was, I explained and she nodded and asked again. She would go onto to ask me continually throughout the day. 

During the afternoon my oldest son drove over and we managed to manoeuvre Mum into his car and take her back to my house. I then cooked dinner for everybody. Mum is very sociable and thoroughly enjoyed being made a fuss off and as we left she said “I’ve had a lovely time”. Bless her, she really seemed so happy. Back at her house she announced that she would be staying up until midnight. My heart sank, it was only eight o’clock and I was already exhausted. I rang Dad who said he was feeling much better and told me that he had agreed to take part in a medical trial, treating elderly heart attack victims with medication rather than a bypass.  Fortunately I managed to persuade Mum to go to bed at ten o’clock and, after much faffing about, we both settled down for the night. Just before her head hit the pillow she asked me to knock on the neighbours doors and tell them that Dad had died. My heart sank. This was not going to be an easy few days…..

 Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Cover Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash