Author: samantha

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Gym Jitters

On By samanthaIn HEALTHLeave a comment

It is my birthday month, another year older, and time to begin taking my health a little less for granted. I take very little exercise, a couple of walks a week of maybe a couple of miles and running up and down the many stairs in my house, that is about it. I spend about twenty five hours a week sitting at my desk working. I hardly take a break and my husband commented that my posture isn’t as good as it used to be. I have noticed a couple of my friends are losing muscle mass and looking a little frailer as well. I desperately need to do some exercise. There are numerous work out videos available on YouTube but I don’t have a clue about what I am doing and feel I am quite likely to injure myself without some proper instruction. I am going to have to join a gym and actually turn up. The thought fills me with dread.

Where I live there are several gyms to choose from. There is the fancy one ten minutes down the road but I am not prepared to pay £150 a month for membership. Then there is the other swanky gym in the country club where lots of my friends go. Membership here is £119 per month, this is still far more than I want to pay and the place is a twenty five minute drive from my home, I just know I won’t be bothered to go, especially in the winter. In the end I decide to go for the easy option, the local leisure centre. The place where I have taken my children for endless swimming lessons and birthday parties. Membership here starts at £39.50 a month, it is a eight minute drive from my house and parking is easy and free.

I have a drawer full of nice gym outfits that I never actually wear so I put on a T shirt and some Marks and Spencer leggings, trying to ignore the fact that they feel a bit snug, that’s just the compression panel right? I then drive to the leisure centre to sign up. The young woman greeting me sells me the slightly more expensive membership which includes a personal training session every quarter and the ability to book classes a fortnight in advance. She then takes me on a tour. The gym equipment looks both mystifying and terrifying. I don’t really see myself swimming but I would like to take some exercise classes. The last time I took my daughter swimming at the leisure centre someone tried to break into my locker and, on another occasion many years ago, a very respectable looking woman tried to make off with my Mulberry handbag while I was helping my son who was having an asthma attack. “Mummy” my boy wheezed and I grabbed it back. The women scarpered. Anyway, I digress, the staff member asks me if I would like to take a class right then and there. Now??? I pretend there is somewhere else I urgently have to be but arrange an induction session at the gym for the following week. I also sign up for a Core Fitness class but not for a fortnight.

Before I even get home the leisure centre email me cancelling my induction session which is not a promising start. They ask if I can come the same evening instead. I have a stonking migraine, I really just want to take some co-codamol and crawl into bed. Nevertheless I pull on my leggings and drive back to the gym, I am surprised at how nervous I feel. Am I going to look a complete, uncoordinated idiot? When I arrive I am met by Kyle, who is going to carry out my induction A muscular, tattooed chap of about thirty who has such a professional and unpatronising manner that I begin to wonder what I was apprehensive about. He asks what my goals are and I say I want to get stronger and fitter. I do not want to lose weight but that is probably obvious from looking at me. Kyle shows me around, demonstrating how the various pieces of equipment work and then I have a try with him supervising, he explains how my legs shouldn’t be too straight as I don’t want my knees to lock and that the downward movement is more important than the upward movement when using the weight machines. He adds a 5kg weight and I just about manage. I am pleased to see the other gym-users are just minding their own business and not in the least bit interested in what I am doing. After about forty five minutes I am ready to go home. Kyle suggests I book a complementary personal training session. He says it won’t take much time for me to get fitter and suggests an exercise class that he thinks will suit me . He said that, once I have gained a little confidence, it will be beneficial for me to learn how to use the free weights. I leave the gym feeling pleased that I made the effort to go. I can do this! I go home and lie down with an ice-pack pressed to my temple.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Cover Image by Nhi Nguyễn Tường from Pixabay

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New York Nerves

On By samanthaIn FAMILYLeave a comment

My seventeen year old son is going off on a school trip to New York and Washington tomorrow. He has a very laissez-faire attitude to preparation which is the polar opposite of my own. The long list of things I am currently worrying about includes :

  • Oversleeping and not getting to the school in time for the 3.45am drop off
  • Him losing his passport
  • Something being wrong with his ESTA and him being refused entry
  • The customs discovering his perfectly legal dermatologist prescribed medication that I haven’t disclosed to the school because he didn’t want to have it dished out by the teacher
  • His feet hurting as he has only just mentioned his second pair of trainers are too small
  • His debit card, which he just told me is badly cracked, not working
  • His wallet being stolen
  • The zip breaking on his bulging suitcase as he is packing every T Shirt he owns
  • Him not having enough smart clothes for the more formal visits
  • Us ignoring the teacher’s strange directive that boys can only wear shorts that come past their knees
  • Someone planting drugs in his suitcase
  • His suitcase going missing
  • Him not wearing his retainers
  • Him running up a massive bill on data using his iPhone

You get the neurotic picture. My other son left for Spain with his fiancée yesterday and my daughter is in Croatia with friends from university. I checked they both had appropriate travel insurance, gave them a hug goodbye and didn’t really give it too much thought. They know what they are doing. My youngest son is very intelligent but there is something about most teenage boys that is a bit dreamy, or at least that’s how they can come across. I fear he will be so busy chatting with his friends that he won’t notice somebody dipping into his backpack or his passport lying on the pavement.

Worry – what a colossal waste of life it is. My husband says it achieves nothing but that isn’t quite true. When I am anxious about something like this I find that making a list and crossing everything off makes me feel calmer and it also ensures nothing important is missed. After all, it wouldn’t be much fun walking around New York in the pouring rain if we hadn’t packed his waterproof, these things do matter. Worrying can certainly drain the pleasure out of life though and it is important to recognise when it is getting out of hand.

I am sure lots of people will think that teachers have a great deal, going on these incredible trips for free, but the amount of work that goes into organizing them must be enormous. In one day my son is vising the UN, the Museum of Modern Art and The Empire State Building. The responsibility of ensuring all these teens cross the busy roads safely, don’t sneak off trying to have a drink etc. would just about finish me off. I am sure they will all have a fabulous time. My son’s, rather overstuffed, suitcase is now packed, labelled and I am feeling much more relaxed already.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

Photo by Nik on Unsplash

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Migraine Misery – Part Two

On By samanthaIn HEALTHLeave a comment

In my recent post, Migraine Misery, I was complaining about my frequent and painful migraines. I finally got around to going back to my GP and asking for some help. On the day of the appointment I was on the fifth day of a migraine and my left eye was pulsating with pain and felt very nauseous. Although it is never good to be ill, I think my GP could tell simply from looking at me that this wasn’t just an ordinary headache. During the past year I have had migraine pain on more days than not and has really been getting me down. My migraine attacks became much more frequent during my peri-menopause but improved after my periods stopped but, once I started taking HRT, they were back with a vengeance. I stopped taking HRT months ago but there has been no improvement. I am keen to restart HRT for some of the long-term benefits that it offers.

I don’t have time to go and lay down in a darkened room and, even if I could, it wouldn’t make me feel any better. Sometimes I sleep with an ice-pack wrapped in a tea towel balanced precariously on my temple. Paracetamol won’t make any difference and I don’t like to take Co-Codamol unless nothing else has worked, it will usually relax the knotty, tight feeling in my temple but don’t take it if you are hoping to go to the toilet in he next week! There is a roll on menthol medication called 4-Head that may work with a mild headache but, if my migraine pain is at 100 it will maybe bring it down to 99.9.

I was hoping my GP would agree to send me for a MRI but, as the pain has not changed the way it presents, she said it is not necessary. I have been taking a drug called Sumitriptan for about fifteen years but lately it has not been very effective. My Doctor has prescribed Zolmitriptan instead. Triptans don’t prevent migraine but, if taken at the onset of an attack, they can be very effective in treating it. As a preventative measure my GP prescribed a beta-blocker called Propranolol. I have to take 40mg, twice a day, every day. There was some delay with the pharmacy having the medication in stock and I have to admit I was very reluctant to start taking the tablets, a daily medication feels like a significant step. I have friends who take Propranolol for anxiety and my dad takes beta-blockers since suffering a heart attack. The pharmacist telephoned me twice within the first fortnight of me starting the beta-blocker to check I wasn’t experiencing any unpleasant side effects such as “vivid dreams”. Well, three weeks in and I have never had such strange dreams in my life! I dreamed about my childhood bedroom and the detail was incredible right down to feel of the anaglypta wallpaper that I thought I had forgotten ever existed. It is amazing what our sub-conscious can dredge up.

A month into my new treatment plan and I have only had one migraine and that was on a day when I was dehydrated, always a trigger. The Zolmitriptan was extremely effective and I only needed one dose as opposed to three or dour doses of the Sumatriptan. Usually in this time period I would expect to suffer from as many as five migraine attacks so, so far, the results have been excellent. Other than the weird dreams, I haven’t had any side-effects other than feeling much better.

Thanks for reading,

Samantha


Cover Photo by Myriam Zilles on Unsplash

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Supermarket Style

On By samanthaIn SHOPPINGLeave a comment

My son is going on a school trip in a couple of weeks and I have been nagging him to choose some new clothes. He knows what he likes so there is little point in me picking out things for him. For T shirts he usually chooses Urban Outfitters as does my daughter. They are fairly expensive at around £35 and the quality isn’t fantastic in my opinion. I bought my daughter a purple T shirt with a yellow sun design which had completely vanished after the second time of washing (inside out and with non-biological washing powder). Anyway I was in Sainsburys this week and decided to have a mooch around the Tu Clothing section for a change. They had a 20% off offer. I was surprised to see a few T shirts very similar to my son’s Urban Outfitter’s tops all priced from £9- £12 before the discount. Bargain! I chose a pinky colored one. I also bought him a lightweight, plain black hoody. I sheepishly presented them to him when I got home fully expecting to have to return them on my next trip but my son really liked them.

I actually refused to set foot in Sainsburys for abut three years after I was accused of shoplifting after a cashier forgot to remove the magnetic strip from a leg of lamb. The security guard was incredibly rude to me. I really should have made a formal complaint but, once he actually acknowledged that my receipt quite clearly showed all my shopping had been paid for (obviously) he mumbled an apology. I didn’t want to be what I believe is now termed as a “Karen” about it and get him into trouble so I let it go. Anyway, on this recent visit the alarms also blared as I left the shop. I kept walking this time, receipt firmly in hand. I tell my children to hold onto their shopping receipts until they are off the premises. My daughter had a part-time job in a Sainsbury’s Local last summer and said shoplifters came in on every single shift. She had to wear a camera. I told her it wasn’t her job to confront anyone. At this particular branch they had no security staff at all. You could say that due to the cost of living crisis people cannot afford to buy food but, according to one manager at my local branch, it is the higher end cosmetics and skin care products that are targeted.

So, back to my purchases. This week I also bought a black leather Paul Costelloe backpack from Brand Alley. I had a £15 discount code and ended up paying £45 for a really high quality bag. It has now sold out on Brand Alley so I have linked the Paul Costelloe website where the Outlet section is well worth a look. I have been on the lookout for a backpack that wouldn’t be easy for a thief to just dip into and this one has a folded zip top and zipped pockets inside and out for valuables. It is quite small but definitely big enough for days out. I really like the silver hardware and think it looks quite expensive.

After also buying my son some much needed new jeans from ASOS for £25 , this has been a successful week in terms of inexpensive but good quality purchases.

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Header Photo by Parker Burchfield on Unsplash

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A Trip to Great Dixter & Rye

On By samanthaIn GOING OUTLeave a comment

Great Dixter House and Gardens are situated in East Sussex, about eight miles from Rye. The drive there along the A268 is very pretty, the road is lined with picture-postcard worthy homes. You can of course also take the train. Great Dixter is best know for being the home of Christopher Lloyd the famous creator of gardens and author of books about gardening. The house itself is stunning on the outside, an imposing Tudor mansion. Inside there are three rooms open to the public, the Great Hall, The Parlour and The Solar. There are sausage dog ornaments everywhere and bookcases stuffed with Christipher Lloyd books. To be honest there isn’t that much of interest inside but there are tour guides to bring the history of the house to life

I visited Great Dixter with two friends and the first thing we did upon arriving was find the coffee shop. There is only an outside cafe area but the cakes were delicious as was the coffee. We sat shivering as unfortunately the day we visited it was chilly and raining, despite it being late May. I had visited five years previously on a beautiful sunny day and the weather really does make all the difference. We walked around all the different gardens especially admiring the roses, lupins and irises. The planting is dense and very imaginative. On this latest visit everything looked a bit overgrown and there were an awful lot of weeds everywhere. I actually wondered if they should let visitors in for free on the condition that they pull up some of the cow parsley that was infiltrating every flower bed. Adult entry to the house and gardens is £16. You can buy many different plants, horticultural books, gardening tools and little mementoes like tea towels at the small gift shop.

After spending an a couple of hours at Great Dixter we decided to head to Rye for a spot of lunch and a look around. I have never been there before and was delighted to see how quirky the pretty period houses are, they have names like “The House Opposite”. Rye is quite hilly and the streets are cobblestone so wear trainers or sensible shoes if you visit. The cobbles are covered in moss so it is all a little slippery. We had lunch at a Turkish restaurant called Layla. I had a chicken wrap with fries and my friends had the chicken salad, The portions were generous and the food tasty.

After lunch we had a look around the shops. It has been some time since I have seen such a healthy looking high street. There lots of shops and I didn’t spot any nail bars, vape shops or the usual coffee shop chains that make up most high streets in 2024. My friend bought a raffia handbag in a shop called Colette. There is a dress agency selling pre-loved designer clothes and a number of independent boutiques and gift shops. All of the clothes shops were rather expensive in my opinion and they seemed to stock the same sort of thing, linen smocks and wide, floaty dresses, not really my cup of tea. I did spot a lovely cranberry red sweatshirt but it was £106 but so I didn’t buy it.

We had a walk around the town but it was still raining so , after walking the the viewing point situated outside the Castle Museum, we headed home. Rye is a picturesque town to visit with a good variety of shops and restaurants. I imagine there are lots of lovely walks as well, just not on days when there is torrential rain.

A banana plant, the house at Great Dixter, a cobbled street in Rye

Thank you for reading

Samantha

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Legions of Lip Balms

On By samanthaIn HEALTHLeave a comment

My seventeen year old son is taking some medication which is making his skin, and in particular his lips, very dry. He is constantly coating his lips with balm. It is no exaggeration to say he seems to get through a stick a week. His favourite is the Palmers Cocoa Butter Formula. This tastes too chocolatey to me but that’s one thing he likes about it. He says this product is the most effective at keeping his lips moisturised. It sells at around £1.70.

There are so many lip balms available it is difficult to know which one to choose. My son tends to lose them often so I am not going to be buying him anything costing over £5. For myself, I used to buy the little tins of Vaseline Lip Therapy, a bargain at around £1.25. but I began to find my lips were ridiculously dry if I left the product off even for one day. I did particularly like their tinted Rosy Lips shade though. When I am out and about I think a stick is more hygienic than a pot of something that I keep dipping my, possibly germy, finger into.

I have been impressed by the Dr Paw Paw balms which contain SPF 20 and come in a squeezy tube. I have some discoloration around my mouth, something that appeared during my pregnancies so I do like to make sure this area is protected from the sun. I particularly like their peachy shade which does not feel gloopy or sticky at all. It provides a very subtle shine. If you don’t like to wear lip gloss or lipstick then this is a good option. These sell at around £4.

My daughter likes the Burts Bees balms which come in all sorts of different flavours and there are tinted versions too. I particularly like their peppermint balm. I do find these a little sticky but they are very effective at moisturising and good for leaving on overnight. There are lovely boxed sets available which make nice little presents if your teenager has a party to go to and you don’t want to spend a fortune on a gift.

When choosing a lip balm I am looking for something moisturising but not sticky feeling. I recently bought the Nivea 24 Hour Moisture Hydro balm which smells lovely and is not sticky but I didn’t find it at all effective on the hydration front. A pity because I am usually impressed with Nivea products. I also wasn’t keen on Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Lip Care balm either, it didn’t seem very moisturising and my lips felt dry shortly after applying it.

If you are willing to spend more money then I can recommend Chanel Rouge CoCo Baume which is a hefty £36. I did buy this once and it was a beautiful product to use and of course the packaging is gorgeous. It doesn’t appear to contain any SPF though. Or you could spend a whopping £62 on La Mer’s The Lip Balm which has amazing reviews on the Harvey Nicholas website. A friend of mine has been buying Gayle Hayman’s Lip Lift for years. It is a lip conditioner that is supposed to fight the appearance of fine lines around the mouth. QVC sell them in packs of two for £36.

So my verdict is, if you have a teenager who loses a lip balm a week, go for Palmers Cocoa Butter Formula or a minty Burts Bees. If you are treating yourself splash out on Chanel or try the reasonably priced Dr Paw Paw for shiny but not sticky lips.

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Header Photo by  Brittney Weng  on Upslash

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The Tower of London & The GunPowder Plot Immersive Experience

On By samanthaIn GOING OUTLeave a comment

I am always on the look-out for something different to do in London. We live about a half an hour train journey from central London and I try to get there at least every couple of months. I love the village where I live but it is very quiet and sometimes it is nice to feel the buzz of the city. Last year myself and a friend went to The War Of The Worlds Immersive Experience in Aldgate which was great fun so I have been searching for something similar.

I used to work for a merchant bank located at Tower Hill but have only been to the Tower of London once before, as a very small child. I decided to book tickets for the GunPowder Plot Experience followed by a tour of The Tower of London. It is not an inexpensive day out, tickets for both came in at around £90 each and then there were the train fares as well. I booked tickets for the experience via Fever https://feverup.com/en/london

If you plan on doing both The GunPowder Plot Experience and the Tower of London in one day I would recommend you do the plot first and book an early slot, 11am or before in order to fit everything in. The Beefeater led tours of the tour stop surprisingly early, we got on the last one of the day which was around 3pm. Our GunPowder Plot Experience was booked for 11.30am, for some unfathomable reason we were told to arrive half an hour early, ten minutes would have been plenty of time to stash our belongings in a locker and sign the waiver. There was a fair bit of waiting around in the bar before the experience began but it gave us time to visit the spotless loos. The venue is cashless so bear this in mind if you want a drink at the interval although you can order and pay for one whilst booking.

The GunPowder Plot Experience lasts around one hour and forty minutes and takes you through the events leading up to the execution of Guy Fawkes and his collaborators in 1605. It is a history lesson brought to life. I definitely learnt some new facts about this period. A group of participants, there were around ten of us, were given black, hooded cloaks to wear and are then led through a warren of murky passages by actors playing various characters. The participants visit houses, cellars, dungeons and churches. The actors were really wonderful and the whole experience is extremely atmospheric. There was a dad with a young son of about nine years old in our group and I did wonder if the lad would be frightened but he thoroughly enjoyed himself as did one American participant who got so into the spirit of the occasion that we weren’t sure if he were actually one of the actors. – he wasn’t.

Me wearing the rather smelly black cloak I was given upon arrival

There are a few points in the experience where the participants don virtual reality headsets and find themselves transported across the Thames or watching the night skies of London. There is one where a tortured priest is flown across the sky to supposed safety . These are very effective and quite creepy, in a good way. If you look to the person next to you on the boat you will see the other participant transformed into a dark figure wearing a plague mask. The entire experience was thoroughly enjoyable and great fun. Do bring a sweater, everybody was complaining that they were chilly in the understandably rather dank venue. The venue for the experience was a bit tricky to find, don’t walk down to the Tower itself, head for the ticket office and it is right next door. The GunPowder Plot Experience is enough by itself for a trip out, you could come back another day and see The Tower. I’d thoroughly recommend it and I thought it was good value for money.

After the experience we had a lovely lunch in the nearby Pizza Express and then returned to look around The Tower of London. The sun was shining and a Beefeater, also called a Yeoman Warder, named Tracey Machin took us on a tour. She was a fantastic speaker and really entertaining. She clearly felt her role was a huge honour and explained that she had been a nurse in the RAF for twenty two years before becoming a Beefeater . We learned about the various sad and grisly executions that had taken place hundreds of years ago and the reasons for them. After the tour we looked around the various buildings by ourselves, there is a huge exhibition of armour and armoury and of course the world famous crown jewels. I assume they are the real jewels and not replicas given the thickness of the vault doors but it does seem unlikely that these would be on display. Anyway they were all dazzlingly beautiful.

Tracey Machin, the Beefeater

At 5pm sharp everything started closing up which is why I suggest starting your day early if you wish to fit both things in one day. Sadly the gift shop closed and I was unable to waste £20 on a Jellycat corgi keyring. We did manage to buy some Palace Mints at a little kiosk though.

I would say that The GunPowder Plot Experience is suitable for ages ten and up, depending on the child. The Tower of London itself is a fascinating place to visit for any age. Both venues together were well worth the £90 price tag, less expensive tickets may be available depending when you wish to go.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

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Fruity Fashion & Strawberry Shirts

On By samanthaIn SHOPPINGLeave a comment

I don’t think of myself who wears a lot of prints, certainly not in the cooler months. but going through my summer wardrobe I see that I actually have lots of printed tops and, strangely, most of them appear to be fruit-themed. I have a batwing top with peaches on from Apricot Clothing, a dress with lemons on from Coast, cherry print PJs from Marks and Spencer and now I have a lovely strawberry shirt from Boden.

After my disastrous attempts at trying to buy some new trousers that actually suit me (see my post Wide Leg Woes ) I decided to refresh my wardrobe by treating myself to some new tops, all purchased online. The first one I bought was from a brand called Pieces, available from ASOS, a pink and white candy-striped formal style shirt with a strawberry design for £36. I bought my daughter a few things from this brand when she was doing her work placement in a London office and the quality is fantastic, especially given the reasonable price point. The cotton on this shirt is beautifully satiny but my youngest son (yes, I made the mistake of asking the opinion of my family again) said it looks like a pyjama top and it is also far too wide. I wish brands would stick to proper sizing and take the guess work out of XS, S, M, L etc. I also ordered from ASOS a strawberry print cardigan from Miss Selfridge for £27 but the quality of this isn’t so good and it doesn’t fasten at all which I know would find annoying so both these things go back.

I then take a look at what Boden have to offer. I used to buy a lot of their clothes, especially their cotton shirts and winter coats but then it got to the point where I seemed to have seen all their designs a hundred times before. Their clothing isn’t inexpensive but it lasts forever, I still have a navy blue wool coat with an applique design around the hem which I must have bought almost twenty years ago. I also used to love their children’s clothes, especially what they used to call their lamby-fleeces and the pretty halter-neck dresses that I bought for my daughter when she was tiny. Come to think of it, she also had a pair of strawberry print trousers edged in gingham from Boden. For myself, I decided to order their “Strawberry Pop” Sienna shirt. It was £55 but with the discount code I paid £49.50. It has arrived and it is so cheerful without being too much of a statement – I love it! The print is the header for this blog post. I am five feet eight inches tall and the sleeves are the perfect length which is unusual. I plan to wear it with my new Zara chinos.

After the cold, gloomy and very long winter, it is nice to have something bright to wear . Even my sons liked my new shirt and that is really saying something!

From left to right, Pieces shirt from ASOS, Miss Selfridge cardigan from ASOS and Sienna shirt from Boden

Thank you for reading

Samantha

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The Dementia Diaries – Chapter Nine – It’s Awkward

On By samanthaIn THE DEMENTIA DIARIESLeave a comment

Do you come from the sort of family that “talks about things”? I don’t. It sometimes makes things difficult when it comes to dealing with my elderly parents. For example, I have absolutely no idea what sort of funerals they would like. Mum is a Christian and Dad is an atheist, or maybe he is an agnostic, I don’t even know that! Of course I could die before either of them but the chances are it will be up to me and my brother to organise things when they do pass away. I don’t feel able to broach the topic with Dad. He will just say it will upset Mum if she hears. Obviously nobody wants to think about the people they love dying but it happens to all of us and, at almost ninety years old, you’d think Dad would have given it some thought.

My gregarious aunt has already told me she wants a huge “do”, Frank Sinitra’s “My Way” playing, expensive mahogany coffin and speeches galore. She would like a fully-catered reception at the local golf club which is what my uncle had. She has no children and, as I am not her executor I will gladly let somebody else organise all of that. My parents are very quiet people and, at this time of their lives, most of their friends have already died or have dementia. It is horribly sad. My Dad called an old friend who he met when doing National Service and this man, an incredibly talented artist, sounded totally befuddled. His own wife had recently died after a drawn-out decline with dementia, it was the first time that Dad realised that people actually die from this hideously cruel disease. The man’s daughter later sent Dad a lovely card saying that the chap now has dementia and has moved in with her and her family. She invited Dad to get in touch at any time. Poor Dad and his poor friend.

Fortunately, I have only been to a few funerals myself. My grandmother’s was lovely because Dad gave such a beautiful talk about her knowledge of wildflowers. There were only a few of us there but we were all people who really loved her. My uncle’s was a huge production, I gave the eulogy and honestly had to calm myself down when I saw so many people arriving at the crematorium. My Godmother died during Covid, I had to watch her funeral online.

Apparently the average cost of a funeral in the UK is almost £5,000. It’s a lot of money for some people to find. Many people take out funeral plans but these do not always represent good value for money , many things are not included such as the burial plot, flowers, order of service etc. When my grief-stricken aunt went to organise my uncle’s funeral one lady working at an undertakers didn’t even look up from her desk, she just barked at my aunt “prepaid”? My aunt walked out in disgust. There is a government scheme in place for those in hardship , the Funeral Expenses Payment, details are on the Gov.UK website.

Of course as well as the choice of being buried or cremated a person can also donate their body to science. I am not sure I would fancy being the cadaver for a medical student but it seems quite noble I suppose and probably avoids a lot of expense!

I really don’t feel comfortable broaching the topic of funerals with Dad. I don’t know how to bring the subject up and I feel it is really up to him to let me know. I am chatting to a friend about this when she tells me to look at the Age UK website as they have downloadable PDFs dedicated to funeral wishes and other end-of-life planning, the link is below. As for me, I will be quite happy to be put in a cardboard box. Whatever causes my family the least amount of stress and expense is fine with me.

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/end-of-life-planning/

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Cover Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

Wide-Leg Woes

On By samanthaIn SHOPPINGLeave a comment

I am in my mid-fifties. When should I start dressing like an older woman? What does that even mean? Beige polyester slacks and an anorak, those shoes that do up with velcro? I have been dressing the same way for the past decade at least. Most days it is skinny jeans, sweater and boots in the winter and skinny jeans with a linen top in the spring/summer. I rarely wear dresses or skirts during the day, I buy them but it has to be really hot for me to abandon my usual uniform. Am I too old to wear jeans? I hope not but I would like to smarten up a little bit.

I have several pairs of jeans, mostly from Mint Velvet, but they all look identical. I desperately need a style refresh. My daughter tells me no-one wears skinny jeans anymore. So, I take the plunge and order some wide leg navy blue trousers from Boden, a company which I used to shop with all the time but I can’t remember when I last placed an order. The style is called Westbourne. They are £80 but Boden always have a discount code and I pay £60. The trousers arrive and are such good quality, the fabric drapes beautifully. It feels very strange to have so much fabric swirling around my legs. I go downstairs to show my husband who makes the helpful remark “why are you wearing Lionel Blairs?” Of course Lionel Blairs is Cockney rhyming slang for flares. I immediately package up the trousers, ready for return.

Boden “Westbourne” Trousers

Back to the drawing board, I order a cream denim oversized jacket from Mango for £35 and some flowy but straight leg jersey trousers. I also order two pairs of tailored chinos from Zara, one full length and one three-quarter length. Annoyingly the Zara trousers aren’t properly sized, so I have to guess at a size small. I also add a couple of their basic T shirts to my basket, £8.99 each. When the Mango trousers arrive I try them on and really like them. I show my oldest son and ask what he thinks. He looks concerned, as if it is a trick question. “Fine” he mutters but my husband has appeared and they share a little sideways glance. My son then says I shouldn’t wear trousers that are five times wider than my (skinny) legs. Great, thanks a lot. I suppose I did ask! I don’t ask anyone else’s opinion when I try on the chinos and decide to keep the navy pair even though I don’t love them, they will do. The cream jacket, which looked so good on the model, just looks scruffy on me so that goes in the returns pile too.

Mango “Flowy, Straight-Fit” trousers

So, after all that effort I have a couple of cheap T Shirts and a pair of OKish chinos. If I were wealthier perhaps I could go and see a personal shopper but I think that is rather beyond my budget and I would probably end up buying a lot of clothes I don’t actually like, just to be polite. I need to go through my wardrobe, donate about seventy five percent of the contents to the charity shop and see if I can start to wear the rest, especially the summer dresses.

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Header Photo by Harper Sunday on Unsplash