Month: May 2025

Budget Beauty Buys – Hits & Misses

On By samanthaIn HEALTHLeave a comment

I am at that age where I need to start taking action to prevent crepey skin on my body, in fact I probably should have begun some years ago but I have never liked using body lotion. I have noticed the sagging, wrinkled effect beginning on so many people, especially their arms and chest and it isn’t attractive but then, what part of aging is? I remember my beautiful Godmother, Josephine, complaining about her skin beginning to look wrinkled when she was eighty five but sadly I don’t have her amazing genes.

I moisturise my face and neck twice a day without fail and have done since my late teens. Sometimes I splash out and treat myself to something fancy from Chanel or Clarins but, more often than not, I will pick up a jar of something in the supermarket, Nivea Q10 or Olay. I noticed that Boots No 7 had an offer on so I ordered their Lift and Luminate gift set for £62.95. The set comprises of face oil, day and night creams and face and eye serums. I have enjoyed all the products apart from the face serum which leaves a blue, glittery sheen on my face. I will definitely repurchase the eye serum. The face oil smells gorgeous and just two tiny drops leaves my face looking hydrated and a little bit glowy. Have any of these potions made a visible difference to any signs of aging – no, but they have kept my face feeling soft, they smell nice and have represented good value for money.

I have been using the same face wash for years, Nivea Gentle Cleansing Cream Wash but it seemed to be out of stock everywhere recently so, on a visit to Tesco I picked up some L’Oreal Hyaluron Expert Wash but within two days of using it I had red, sore patches under my nose and between my brows. I don’t have particularly sensitive skin but this seems to be too strong. Maybe it would be a winner for someone with oily skin.

For my body I bought Garnier Nourishing Ceramide Body Butter which was on offer for about £5, it has a vanilla fragrance. I liked this product so much that I also bought Garnier Vitamin C Nutri Glow Body Cream in a mango scent which literally smells good enough to eat. I can’t recommend these well priced products enough, they are very effective at moisturising even the driest patches

My nails are, to be quite honest, rather a disgrace. Apart from before my wedding, I have never had a professional manicure in my life. Firstly all the young people working in these places (and there are so many nail bars in my town) seem to be from Vietnam and I worry that they are being trafficked. Also, professional nail upkeep is so expensive and time consuming. I might give them a quick file when one of them breaks but that’s about the extent of my maintenance. I do always polish my toenails in the summer though in an attempt to spruce up my hideous feet. I bought myself some Essie gel polish in a lilac shade called Strut with it. The polish and gel top coat are both £11. You can usually expect your gel manicure to last about ten days. I have tried the cheaper D-i-Y gel polishes but Essie does seem to be the best. I also recommend Mavala nail polishes, they do a beautiful icy pink shade called Glacier, perfect for toenails. I used to wear their deep burgundy shade called Las Vegas in my twenties and they still sell it thirty years later. At £6.40 it is a great alternative to Chanel’s iconic Rouge Noir.

So some great, reasonably priced beauty buys. I think just slowing down and taking the time to induge in a little self care is very important and it doesn’t really matter if the products you are using cost £50 or £5. In fact, I’m sure some of the cheaper options are just as effective.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

A Day Out in Kent – Lullingstone Castle and The World Garden

On By samanthaIn GOING OUTLeave a comment

A lovely friend of mine has just visited from Australia. She had an impossibly busy schedule but we agreed to meet on Saturday. She was staying at the Premier Inn in my town so I picked her up and we decided to visit Lullingstone Castle and its “World Garden” .

If you decide to visit Lullingstone don’t do the logical thing and follow the signs for the castle, they will simply take you to a pair of locked gates. You have to head for Lullingstone Roman Villa and then you drive behind the visitor centre and the castle will be revealed in all its beauty. It really is like a scene from Brideshead Revisited. There was even a vintage Rolls Royce parked outside. To visit the house and garden costs a very reasonable £12.50 for adults. There are concessions for OAPs and children.

Both Henry VIII and Queen Anne are known to have been regular visitors to the castle which now comprises of a manor house, gate house, church and a stunning lake. Inside the house you can see one of Queen Anne’s hair pieces along with other historical objects. There are lots of models of the castle on display and a friendly volunteer to answer any questions. The current owner, whose family have owned Lullingstone since 1497, warmly greeted us at the door and chatted to my friend about her own travels. I did wonder if owning such a huge property is as much of a burden as it is a blessing. The upkeep must be enormous.

On the grounds, as you enter through the gatehouse there is St Botolph’s church, of Norman origin and made of flint, which boasts some of the oldest stained glass windows in the world, some from the fourteenth century. Although it is small there is plenty to see inside.

If you have heard of the castle before it may because of the BBC series Save Lullingstone Castle, and Return to Lullingstone Castle or because the son of the owners, Tom Hart Dyke was kidnapped in the Panamanian jungle during an expedition in the year 2000. He and his companions were held for nine months. Thankfully they were eventually released and I remember seeing him on a talk show after his ordeal was over. He has gone on to have a successful career in botany and, whilst in captivity, came up with the idea for the World Garden at Lullingstone. As the name suggests, the garden takes visitors on a botanical tour of the world and is really very quirky and charming. There are lots of unusual plants to see, some sculptures and a touch of kitsch here and there, like the pair of plastic penguins either side of an entry way.

The castle has a cafe where “light refreshments” are served and guests are also permitted to bring their own picnic. There is a gift shop and a nursery so that you can purchase some plants of your own. I thought Lullingstone was really lovely and I will definitely be back again, next time I will visit the Roman Villa as well.

After the castle we decided to go to for a pub lunch. We drove to a nearby village and had possibly the worst meal out I’ve ever experienced. The manager was so rude and unhelpful when my friend asked a question about the menu. I ordered a burger which was served with some sort of sloppy meat on the side. There was literally no service apart from the lad who brought our plates over but a 12.5% service charge was added to the bill. We went to the bar for drinks and ordered from a QR code, something I am wary about after a friend’s husband fell victim to a scam where a fake code was stuck onto a menu. Anyway I won’t name the pub which may be in the most picturesque location but I certainly won’t be returning.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

The Dementia Diaries – Chapter Seventeen, The Care Agency

On By samanthaIn THE DEMENTIA DIARIESLeave a comment

Dad and I looked at the list of care agencies given to us by the visitor from Social Services. Most of them were located more than fifteen miles away. There is a local agency but I did not want to use them because I have seen one of their carers in the local park screaming abuse at somebody. Dad rang Age UK and they recommended some other agencies and we booked an initial meeting with one of these.

Two women arrived from the agency, one manager and a young woman who seemed to be learning the ropes. They arrived at 12pm and Mum would always be up by then but, on this particular day she had gone back to bed after breakfast saying that she felt unwell. Never in my life before have I known Mum to be in bed at midday. Anyway the older manager was very much into cross selling her company’s services. I explained that Dad is not going to pay almost forty pounds an hour for cleaning and she was visibly disappointed. I explained that we were considering booking a couple of initial sessions where the carer would come in and bathe Mum and wash her hair. The manager started pushing for every day. I was glad I had attended because I can see how elderly people can be pressured into agreeing to more of the care agency’s time than they can really afford.

I explained that Mum would usually be up at this time but she was feeling unwell. The manager asked to see her and, again I reiterated that Mum was asleep. “Just let me see her” she said. I took the manager and her colleague upstairs and into Mum and Dad’s bedroom. Mum was lying on her back, fast asleep looking white as a sheet The manager called Mum’s name in a booming voice, scaring her. Mum became very distressed. If I was woken by two strangers in my bedroom I would be terrified, anyone would. I went over and reassured Mum who was overjoyed to see me for once. Then the manager said it is neglectful to leave Mum in bed all day. For the third time I explained that Mum is NEVER in bed all day , I began to feel really annoyed and judged. The manager then said that their carer would wash Mum but wouldn’t be prepared to manoeuvre her into the bath. I said would write to the contact at Social Service and see if we could have a bath chair. This was supposed to have been supplied before. Everything is such hard work.

Despite my misgivings, Dad seemed keen on booking them in so we arranged for two visits the following week. The manager said she had a particularly kind, patient carer in mind. I was working on the day she visited but rang Dad once I had finished, he sound exhausted and exasperated, predictably Mum had refused to be washed. The carer made Mum a cup of tea and left, Dad said she seemed very nice and patient. Later that evening Dad rang me and said mum was crying. I popped round and Mum said her back hurt, I gave her some pain killers and tried to straighten up the cushions on her chair but she wouldn’t let me. She told me to go home and leave her alone. Dad asked me to help with a problem on his computer, we were out of the room five minutes and Mum must have shouted out, demanding dinner, at least fifteen times.

I woke at 4am this morning worrying. Mum is clearly not cleaning herself and she will not allow anyone else to help. What on Earth are we going to do? She could have a bottom covered in sores but we wouldn’t know. What if we need to call an ambulance or doctor out, they will think we have not been looking after her. The same carer is coming again in a couple of days and we will try again but I am not optimistic. I think we are going to have to consider a care home if this refusal continues.

Samantha

Cover Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

The Dementia Diaries – Chapter Sixteen Care Assessment

On By samanthaIn THE DEMENTIA DIARIESLeave a comment

Since my last Dementia Diaries post in March things have worsened considerably. My aunt had her 90th birthday party in a village hall some twenty miles away, and for the first time, I realised that Mum was too far into her Alzheimers to attend. My parents have never driven and my husband and I always take them along to any family occasion, they have never once been left out of anything. It was my aunt who suggested that it wouldn’t be a good idea to bring mum “she’ll want to go home as soon as you arrive” she said. That was very true but it was also the fact of Mum’s urinary incontinence. If the M25 is at a standstill we would be in the car for an hour both ways and the village hall toilets wouldn’t be a vey private place for dealing with any accidents. My aunt had a wonderful time, she was chatting to her one hundred and eighty guests and got up to dance. Mum, on the other hand, can barely get out of her armchair. It really does seem like a lottery as to what sort of old age, if any, you get to experience. My parents have really lived a very healthy life but, for Mum, it doesn’t seem to have paid off. I suppose living to eighty nine is a privilege in itself.

Mum has started to become more and more resentful of my visits and her constantly telling me to “go home” has now changed into “bugger off”, something she would never have said pre-Alzheimers. Dad and I have been trying to persuade her to let me help her bath or shower but she refuses. The last time we gingerly raised the topic it resulted in an hour of nonsensical arguing and Mum pretending to cry. It is as if we are somehow abusing her rather than trying to help. It makes me feel terrible to see her so confused and distressed. Dad can’t help her, if Mum slips she will take him down with her, they are both now so frail. Dad wants to arrange for their mobile hairdresser to visit along with the podiatrist and I said we can’t expect these people to tend to Mum when she is not clean. We are both worried about her developing sores or an infection. It is so difficult because what do you do when someone point blank refuses to bath or shower?

I filled in a request for a Care Assessment on the Kent Council website and it took about six weeks for the visit to happen. A lady called Sarah arrived at my parents house. It wasn’t quite what I had expected. Dad and I explained the issues, although it is very obvious from the moment you walk in the front door. Sarah said that my parents are not entitled to any free care (my dad does now receive enhanced attendance allowance which a local charity helped him apply for) but that the council can recommend some care agencies. Sarah and I went upstairs and she said that some of the carers will do cleaning as well, she commented on the strong smell of urine in the bedroom. Dad opens the windows and Mum closes them. I vacuum my parents house, clean the kitchen floor and put the laundry mountain away twice every week but I hadn’t cleaned their bathroom as I haven’t been allowed. To be honest I was a little embarrassed when I saw how grubby it was. Two days later I was back over there with a bottle of Cif and some bleach. Asking the carer to clean seems quite an expensive way of doing things as the carers charge about £15 more per hour than a regular cleaner. Also, Dad has turned into a bit of a hoarder and I am not sure how much cleaning someone could actually do around the boxes of stuff everywhere.

Throughout the entire conversation Mum kept calling out “what’s happening?” and “what are you talking about?” so we kept explaining to make sure she felt we were speaking to her rather than about her. Sarah asked Mum if she would consent to someone helping her shower and Mum said yes. This is because she had no idea what Sarah was saying. Sarah then said that it would all be alright as Mum has agreed. In reality I know that, when the carer arrives, mum will go into full refusal mode. Mum then started telling Sarah to “bugger off” and “sod off”. Sarah just laughed, she is obviously used to this sort of behaviour. Before leaving Sarah gave us a directory of carers but many of them are out of our area. We have booked a visit in tomorrow simply to discuss Mum’s needs. Dad got the name of the care agency from Age Concern.

When I was upstairs with Sarah she said “your mum is at the end now”. I must have looked quite shocked at her bluntness because she then said “of her Alzheimers”. The clarification, didn’t really make any difference, it all amounts to the same thing. Poor mum, such an energetic, capable and kind person reduced to this. You would not wish Alzheimers disease on your worst enemy.

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Cover Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

A Day Out in London – Afternoon Tea at The Langham

On By samanthaIn GOING OUTLeave a comment

My friend kindly invited me and another mutual, friend out to afternoon tea at The Langham which is a hotel located in Portland Place, a two minute walk from Oxford Circus station. I have only had afternoon tea at a swanky hotel once before, The Savoy about eight years ago, and what I remember was that my sister-in-law politely requested that some of the cakes be put into a box so that she could take them home for her family as she didn’t want to eat any then and there and the waiter refused. So she paid about £125 for a cup of Darjeeling. Afternoon tea at The Langham is slightly less expensive but the bill still came to a hefty £101 per person. Of course you are paying for the location and experience as much as for the tea and sandwiches.

The Langham is a very impressive hotel which opened in 1865. Tea is served in their Palm Court area. It is a stunningly elegant dining room. Dress code is smart casual but there were plenty of people wearing trainers, I suppose people tag on a 3pm tea experience to a morning of site seeing and no one wants to be doing that in formal shoes. I didn’t spot any jeans though. As part of my decluttering project I have decided to try and wear clothes I already own rather than buy anything new and wore some ivory tailored trousers from Mango, a black boucle jacket from H&M and a silk top that I have had forever but only worn once before, from Boden. On my feet I wore some well worn-in ballet flats because I’ve had many a special occasion ruined by .uncomfortable shoes. I was tempted to slip my trainers into a tote bag for the journey home.

My outing didn’t get off to the smoothest start as I could not park anywhere near my local train station. Most of the spots are now restricted to two hours which is ridiculous because who goes in to London and comes back again in that time? After driving around the multi-story car park twice and not finding a single space I rang my friend and manage to catch her before she set out on her own fruitless search for parking. I drove to her house and we rang for a taxi and manage to catch our train.

Once arriving at Oxford Circus via the Bakerloo Line we simply crossed the road and walked a few yards and we were there. I wish I had some pictures but when I sat down in the dining room I realised I couldn’t find my phone. After a second’s panic thinking I’d been robbed or had dropped it in central London I decided that I had probably just left it in my car and, sure enough, that’s exactly what had happened. I managed not to sit there the entire time worrying about it but when we caught the slowest train ever home I did begin to feel a bit jittery.

The Palm Court is stunning. If I go to anything like this again I will be sure not to sit facing the wall because it was impossible to people watch, my favourite thing, from where I was sitting. The walls are decorated with gold coloured ornaments and the chandeliers are beautiful. A pianist played songs from Les Miserable, Wicked and some Billy Joel. It really is the picture of elegance.

The staff at The Langham were far less snooty than at The Savoy. They gave us a warm welcome and explained the menu. I chose Phoenix Honey Orchid tea which was, quite frankly, disgusting. I stuck to water after that. We were brought a platter of finger sandwiches, egg, cream cheese, prawn and Coronation chicken, they were exceptionally delicious. We ate all of them and the lovely, friendly waitress bright some more. Next were the most beautiful small pastries, three for each of us in lemon, coffee and strawberry flavours. The three of us were all sitting there feeling fit to burst when the waitress brought over a little crème brulee creation with a candle in it for my friend. Just as we thought the bill would be arriving we were served warm miniature scones with jam and clotted cream and a gorgeous fruit cake which we had boxed up for my friend’s family. The waitress bought the boxed cake over in a branded gift bag and said she’d popped some extra scones in there too, how lovely. The food was amazing and there was far more of it than I had expected. We waddled back to the Tube. If you are thinking of doing a posh afternoon tea in London then The Langham is the place to go.

For my friend’s birthday gift we bought her a gift set from The White Company in Sea Salt scent. She took that home along with the scones and fruit cake and I think she really had a lovely afternoon, I know I did.

Thank you for reading

Samantha