Month: September 2024

This Week I Have Been….

On By samanthaIn GOING OUT1 Comment

Reading – The Wrong Sister by Claire Douglas

Ok, so I am fibbing a little because I actually read this book during my trip to Florence and have been meaning to review it ever since. They had a beautiful selection of Penguin Classics at the airport but their font is minuscule so I went for a psychological thriller instead. In fact I bought two but the other one wasn’t worth reviewing.

The sisters in Claire Douglas’s story are Tasha, the rather worn down mother of four year old twins and Alice, a sort of Elizabeth Holmes character who is developing some sort of medical tech with her partner, Kyle. Alice and Kyle live in a glamorous apartment in Venice and offer Tasha and her husband, Aaron a temporary house-swap and insist on looking after the twins. Wonderful thinks Tasha, she and Aaron can have a much needed romantic break and leave the drudgery of every day life behind for a few days..

Like a scene in one of my favourite films, Dont Look Now, Tasha encounters a knife wielding maniac on the streets of Venice but manages to flee. Back at Tasha’s home in a sleepy village Kyle is murdered and Alice is in hospital. What is going on? A note sent to Tasha may throw some light on the terrifying situation. The Wrong Sister is well written with believable characters, interesting family dynamics and a satisfyingly twisty plot. Perfect holiday reading.

Watching – A Perfect Couple on Netflix

Must Nicole Kidman appear in everything? Other actresses are available. Or should that be actors? Set in a stunning home in Nantucket, A Perfect Couple is set around the forthcoming wedding of Benji and Amelia. It is the night of the rehearsal dinner and guests are arriving from far and wide. One of them ends up dead.

Kidman plays Greer, a writer and matriarch, always elegantly dressed in shade of cream and blue by Ralph Lauren and Sezane (I checked out the wardrobe designers YouTube video). Kidman has had so much Botox that she looks less wrinkled than the young women playing her daughter-in-laws, Dakota Fanning and Eve Hewson. Kidman is naturally beautiful but her smooth, waxen face is somewhat distracting as are the odd wig choices. Greer is married to Tag excellently played by Liev Shrieber . Tag is real “old money” and I loved his laid back attitude. The dance sequence at the credits is the best thing about this series. I found the plot lacklustre and couldn’t understand why none of the characters were discussing their theories for who the murderer was . The killer was a bit of a surprise though. If you like beautiful locations and non-demanding viewing then this may be for you.

Listened To – The Price of Paradise on Apple Itunes

The Price of Paradise is such a good story, I could not stop listening. The nice thing about podcasts is they are guilt free entertainment, you can listen and get on with other things at the same time. Narrated by Alice Levine, this is based on a TV documentary (which I haven’t seen but it makes no difference to following this jaw dropping story). Jane Gaskin, a rather exotic free spirit is so bored with her life in the UK that she sells up and buys her very own tiny island in Nicaragua which she renames Janique. Her partner Phil and her young children accompany her. Phil and Jane plan to open a diving centre even though neither of them can swim. The locals have other ideas, and they receive some unwelcome visitors. The story also follows lawyer Maria Acosta who is aggrieved that the islands are being sold off to foreigners by a rather shady businessman. If Jane was looking for adventure she certainly got her wish. The producers of the documentary tell their side of the story but, sadly, Jane didn’t want to participate in the making of the podcast. Nevertheless, it makes for gripping listening.

Thanks for reading

Samantha

Cover Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Liz Earle -A Better Second Half

On By samanthaIn HEALTHLeave a comment

This week I have been ill with a really bad cold. I am self employed so have soldiered on but been unable to answer the phone due to having absolutely no voice. Two of my family members suffer from severe asthma so I try to keep to keep my germs to myself although, inevitably, they pick up illnesses when out and about. My daughter has gone back to university so I have been sleeping in her room so as not to breath the lurgy over my husband.

Ironically, I suspect I picked up the cold at a wellness event, part of the Sevenoaks Literary Festival, hosted by our local independent bookshop and held at Walthamstow Hall school. The speaker, entrepreneur and health journalist, Liz Earle, was promoting her latest book, A Better Second Half which, as the title suggests, is about maximising health and wellbeing during the second half of our lives. The event was packed with women, one of whom seemed to be transcribing the entire interview rather than purchasing a £22 copy of Earle’s book like the rest of us.

Liz Earle walked out on the stage looking lovely in turquoise wide leg trousers and a cream silk top, she had gold Mary-Jane shoes on her feet, very glam and the sort of effortless put together look that is so hard to achieve. She also looked a little tired, not surprising as she had had a nightmare with the trains and also a late night. Earle was keen for us to know that she is sixty one and her boyfriend is forty four, they met on the dating app Ivory Towers. I have noticed that dating younger men seems to be used as a measure of an older women’s attractiveness. Earle also said, tongue firmly in cheek, that she had her biological age analysed and it is thirty nine therefore she is actually younger than him which got a chortle from the audience. Although Earle has now embraced her age, she was so dreading turning sixty that she initially cancelled her birthday party. Many of us have felt that way when a big birthday is looming.

Many people will associate Earle with the beauty brand bearing her name and it was fascinating to hear her speak about how this came about. Liz, and her partner, Kim Buckland combined their expertise and founded the company in 1995, it went on to be the UK’s biggest selling independent skincare brand. Who hasn’t at least tried Cleanse and Polish? They sold the company in 2010 and Earle reverted what she really feels passionate about, writing about women’s health. She made it quite clear that she has no interest in starting again in the beauty business.

Earle bought a farm with some of the proceeds from the sale of her company and there is a pond on the property. She tells us that she sometimes goes and sits in the cold water, up to her shoulders. She also turns the water to cold when she is in the shower. She is a big fan of grounding which is where you stand on grass or soil in bare feet, the theory being that the electrical charge can calm inflammation, reduce stress and promote healing. As Earle herself says, it does sound rather woo woo but the concept is nothing new. Earle speaks about wanting to live to one hundred and twenty and says that biohackers are aiming for one hundred and eighty. She says that being ninety and sitting in a chair having lost your marbles is not living. This upset me, it describes my mum to a tee and it hurts. However, Earle isn’t really wrong. I have read about biohackers and their quest for near immortality. I believe one takes plasma transfusions from his son and I saw a video of him doing the most extreme exercises that made him look more humanoid than human. A person would have to be enormously rich to afford to live that long and it does not interest me at all, it just seems unnatural, but I might feel differently when I am one hundred and nineteen.

Earle spoke at length about the benefits of HRT and dispelled some of the misinformation around it. She also recommended various vitamins and peptides. The floor was opened to questions and one woman asked about mouth-taping, Earle is fan. You put a strip of medical tape over your mouth so that you are forced to breathe through your nose as you sleep. I don’t think I would be able to tolerate that. Earle also spoke about building muscle mass through using weights, something which I am intimidated to start but really should.

Liz Earle has clearly carried out endless research and I feel I can trust her advice, she is highly respected in her field. Even her own GP told her that patients often mention her research during consultations, usually about the menopause. Earle has her own podcast and has published a plethora of books. I am looking forward to reading A Better Second Half , a real doorstop of a book. Visit her website, Liz Earle Wellbeing, for more information.

Thank you for reading

Samantha

The Dementia Diaries – Chapter Ten – Where do we go from here?

On By samanthaIn THE DEMENTIA DIARIESLeave a comment

I haven’t written a Dementia Diaries post for a little while. My mum’s condition, both physical and mental, has deteriorated considerably and even thinking about it makes me feel sad. Every day there is another problem, today Mum has lost her wedding ring, her engagement ring vanished some time ago. My dad’s entire life now revolves around looking after her and he looks utterly exhausted, not ideal when he had a heart attack only last year. I do some housework for them, mostly hoovering and mopping the kitchen floor but Mum is difficult about it and keeps telling me to stop and go home. When I try to ignore her she pretends to cry and puts her hand to her forehead and says I am making her ill. Am I supposed to leave everything for Dad to do? Dad does now have a lady gardener come every now and then but Mum rudely tells her to go home as well. The gardener has offered to clean for them, I suppose her outside work dries up in the autumn, but I know Mum would be telling her to stop for the whole time. Dad has mountains of laundry to do every single day and I go over and fold it and put it away but I am met with hostility from Mum about this as well. I invariably leave their house feeling guilty about Dad and worried about the way forward. How much longer can this go on for?

Mum now has difficulty walking even short distances and seems to launch herself across their tiny sitting room grabbing onto a chair then a table then another chair until she has made it to the door. She makes little mewing sounds as she does this. She can still pull herself upstairs with the two handrails but I don’t think that will be for long, it is a fall waiting to happen. I have asked my dad to consider turning the under stairs cupboard into a downstairs loo but he doesn’t want to. I am not even sure the space would be big enough. Getting Mum into a car is now a stressful ordeal and she won’t listen to direction. I try to tell her to put her bottom on the seat and bring her legs in but she climbs into the car in a standing position, puts one foot on top of another, and then can’t turn around. If I try to help she shrugs me off. Mum was badly hurt after falling while getting into my car two years ago, her leg took about nine months to heal, I am terrified of this happening again.

Another major setback is that Mum is now unable to get in and out of the bath. Dad now washes her with a flannel as they only have a shower head over the bath. They should have a carer coming in to help with this but the answer to that is a resounding no as well. My mother-in-law, who is in a much better state than my mum but lives alone, has carers in four times a day. They wash her, do her laundry and shopping and prepare simple meals for her. It has made a tremendous difference to her overall health. I am not sure if Dad does not want to spend the money on carers or whether he just dreads Mum being rude to them. Both my parents worked hard for many years and it is ridiculous that they are denying themselves assistance when they most need it.

Dad has a sky-high IQ, he must know that they need help but he doesn’t want to upset Mum. She must be kept happy at all costs, even to his health. As a consequence, he has become something of a servant. If he sits down for a second she asks him to open/close a window or door, if he leaves the room she keeps calling him until he gives up whatever he was trying to achieve. Apparently it is very common for dementia sufferers to become anxious if their main carer is not in sight. I came back from their house this morning feeling hopeless. Mum told Dad off for allowing me to put the carpet sweeper over. She asked the same question at least ten times in half an hour. I don’t know the way forward. Maybe one day the decision will be taken out of our hands. I think Dad is determined to manage, without outside help, for as long as possible.

Thank you for reading,

Samantha

Cover Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash